Maiden-In-Waiting

2011-10-22T23:10:00.000-05:00

If you can't feed one hundred...

2011-08-08T13:16:00.006-05:00

I am the type of person who can sometimes tend to feel overwhelmed. When that happens sometimes I completely shut down and cease all action whatsoever. This happened to me one week during spring semester. I felt so overwhelmed with all of the work I had to do that I didn't do a single bit of it for two days. Of course this only put me further behind, thus making me even more overwhelmed. It's a downward spiral that only leads to more despair. For the past few years I have really tried to work on doing what needs to be done without worrying about the magnitude of the task. It has worked well in most areas of my life. I budget money pretty faithfully, plan out my school tasks by the day, and try to keep all of the activities I need to accomplish on a calendar. There is one area in which I have so far not been able to conquer my overwhelmed feelings - charity. I've always been involved in charity work to some degree, but there is SO MUCH need all the time for charities. There is the heifer charity, the mosquito net charity, the well charity, children who need to be sponsored in every place throughout the world, natural disaster relief, medical clinics overseas that need support, missionaries needing partners, not to mention local charities and needs - the list is practically endless. It's completely overwhelming to me. Even though I would love to give to all of them, I'm no millionaire. I tend to just sigh and say, "Wow, they're doing a great work... I'd love to help, but how do I chose one good work over any other good work?" More often than not, I simply end up not doing anything because I let myself feel like by choosing one organization to support, I am somehow turning my back on everything else out there. My main frustration is the feeling that I can't do it all by myself. And that's a valid feeling - I can't. But I came across a quote by Mother Teresa that really gave me perspective. She said "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." That really shook me. I can't feed all of the hungry people in the world. I can't give them all of the medical care and teaching that they need. But today Mother Teresa's words really sunk in. I watched a youtube video called Kisses from Katie.mp4 that really touched my heart. I realized that to each of those children, "feeding one" means the difference between life and death. I realized that touching one life makes a HUGE difference if you are the one whose life is being touched. Maybe there are some of you, like me, who feel overwhelmed with how much need there is, and who feel like you might as well do nothing if you can't do something "major." If so, I hope this has been a little bit of encouragement to you. I hope one day I can feed one hundred. But today I can feed one. So I will :)

Sam

2010-07-27T21:57:00.007-05:00

You know how sometimes events sneak up on you? Christmas did that to me last year. I was just trucking along and all of a sudden bam! there was Christmas. Well the same thing happened to me today when I looked at my calender to see how many weeks I had left til Sam went to school. I knew this was July, and that he started school in August, but somehow I still had it in my head that I had three or four weeks left with him. Then I was talking to my mom about how "he'll be going to school soon" (as I've been saying for months), and decided to look at my calender to see just how many weeks I had left. The answer shocked me. Next week? That can't be right... I'm going to recalculate. But as many times as I checked, I still got the same answer. It made sense, really... this is the 27th, of course the 5th is next week. Starting the middle of next week, Sam will go to school all day, every day.
Now you have to understand, Sam isn't mine. Not really. He has two parents, a sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles which I have no relation to at all. But to me, Sam is more than a kid I take care of. In fact, he's more like Samuel in the Bible - my firstborn that I don't get to keep. I got Sam when he was a mere 3 1/2 months old and I was 18. When I wasn't keeping Sam I was thinking or talking about him. I was always going around talking about the latest thing he'd learned or something funny he'd done. I poured my life into that little person and developed such a love for him that I literally wouldn't want to leave in the evenings. As far as I was concerned, he was mine. I took seriously the responsibility of caring for and teaching him, and treated him just as I would have my own. His parents became more like family than employers and before long, we were just one big happy family.
A lot has changed in these past 4 years, and he was right there in the midst of all of it. He was with me on numerous dates, waving goodbye the day I left for Ecuador, taking pictures with me the morning I got engaged, kissing me at my wedding, and coming in to see "his new sister" the morning after Selina was born. He's been far more than a job - he's been a part of my life. I look back over the years I've had with him and wonder where they went. He's certainly not a baby anymore. He now "eats" my kisses, dresses himself, and has "big boy playtime" while the current babies take morning naps. But one thing hasn't changed. I love him. He has outgrown his need for a nanny, but he will never outgrow his place in my heart. It's goodbye to this season, but not to him. Just so everyone knows, I still have first dibs when Guy and Lou Ellen need an after school or weekend babysitter!

Can't believe he was ever this small...

Before Ecuador! I love these people.

The morning I got engaged. I didn't know that at the time, of course...

"Bible time" with Knox. Some of my happiest memories :)

My sweet baby on the best day ever!

Christmas decorating 2008

With Baby Selina. One of my favorite pictures.

Summer 2010. They love each other so much :)

Homemade Baby Food - It's Easier Thank You'd Think!

2010-05-01T11:28:00.007-05:00

Chopped organic veggies steamed to perfection, processed into baby food consistancy. And ta-da! Homemade baby food :) Selia loves it!

Sacrificing Freedom for Something Better

2010-04-09T20:38:00.002-05:00

I am a free spirit. I like to have flexibility in my days so I can do out of the ordinary things. Cole is very much the same way, and strangely enough, it works well. We both like to do things on the spur of the moment and like to feel free. Getting married, strangely, didn't make either of us feel tied down... at least not in a bad way, like most people say. Now we both had a constant companion in our musings and random whims to go out of town and do fun things. We liked it this way and since we had enough sense to not be irresponsible in our ventures, it worked.

Fast forward three short months. I stared down at a positive pregnancy test and knew in that instant that my life would be changed forever. I was thrilled at the idea of being a mother, but I was incredibly apprehensive about how life would change. I felt guilty of my fear, knowing that a child was a blessing and gift, but on the other hand I just couldn't imagine exactly what life would be like. I had been a nanny for 2 1/2 years, and before that had spent a lot of time around children so I knew what to expect as far as caring and nurturing a child, but it wasn‘t 24/7 for years upon end. I knew, as a mother, there is no such thing as "taking off" and I did my best to prepare myself for the change. The few people I was honest with about it were incredibly encouraging about my feelings being completely normal. "Once she's born, you won't be able to imagine life being any different" a friend told me. I wasn't sure I believed her, but really hoped it would be true for me. I was excited as I got ready for her and after a little while, didn't think much about the change anymore. I didn't have time to!

She came 2 1/2 weeks early, on an incredibly stressful, but nonetheless beautiful day. There were 5 1/2 hours from my first contraction to the time she was born in a near perfect delivery. When she was placed in my arms, I was shocked. She didn't look anything like I'd expected her to. When Ianna was born 2 1/2 weeks earlier, she looked like a clone of Merisha as a baby. Selina didn't look a thing like me, and I didn't think she looked like Cole either. But one thing was certain: She was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. That night I didn't sleep. The night following I didn't either. All I wanted to do was look at her. Cole had the nurse take her to the nursery at some point so I could sleep, but I was a wreck the whole time she was gone.

When we got home, reality set in. She slept very well for a newborn, but was a light sleeper who wouldn't sleep in her car seat. This meant I was home-bound. I wouldn't be seeing anyone unless they wanted to come see me. I had some mild drug induced depression which made everything seem way worse than it really was. Overwhelmed is the best word I can use to describe it. So in the first two months I really felt like everything was just a huge deal. Going out of the house was a no. Waaay to overwhelming to even think about! After a while I decided I’d rather live with the effects of not taking the medication and be myself than to continue in this very uncharacteristically down me. I got off of the medication and within a couple of weeks I was a new person. Or actually, I was back to the old person. Either way, things were looking up!

And now that I’m back to myself, it amazes me how little of a sacrifice my freedom seems to be. I definitely don’t have the chance to go and do things at the spur of the moment anymore, at least not for now, and sometimes I still long for those by gone days. But overall, I consider my life to be far better than it was 6 months ago. When a friend asked me how I was adjusting to being a mom, I responded this way: “Ya know, you can prepare yourself for the sleepless nights, the responsibility of having a child rely on you all the time and the change it will make. But no one can prepare you for the love you will feel for your child.” It’s simply indescribable. When I look into those beautiful dark blue eyes, see her amazing smile and cuddle her close, nothing seems like nearly so much of a sacrifice. 2 am feedings? Got it. Pumping every 2 hours because baby REFUSES to nurse? No problem. “Sorry, I can’t, Selina just went down for a nap.” Worth it.

The past 5 ½ months have flown by just as I knew they would. I’ve loved every moment and I can say, I’ve lived them to the fullest. I’ve nurtured and loved my child. I’ve watched in amazement as she does new things. I’ve spent countless hours just looking at her, trying to soak in the moment, knowing so soon she’ll be past this amazing age. And I’ve prayed. Prayed that God would make me into the mother I should be. Prayed that she would learn to hear his voice. Though some people may call it “tied down,” I don‘t regret an instant I spent with her. To me, she’s worth any amount of freedom I’ve lost a hundred times over.

A Few of Selina's 2 Week Portraits

2010-01-18T09:16:00.001-06:00

Happy Hospital Birth

2009-11-20T01:01:00.003-06:00

In the circles I was raised in, especially as I got older, home birth was a big deal. It seemed like most people I knew were having their babies at home or in a birthing center, so naturally I thought I'd follow in that trend when I had my babies. I had heard all kinds of hospital birth horror stories and all about the evils of doctors "just doing what's easiest for them" and had dreams of a water birth in a birthing center. After all, that's really the only way to have a good birthing experience, right?
Well, that's all well and good if you're in a sizable city, but in Natchez (population 20,000) there isn't a female OB, much less a birthing center with a midwife. This caused me no small amount of frustration when I first found out I was pregnant. I decided I'd drive to Brookhaven (a little over an hour away) to the only female OB around, but was still distressed about having to have my baby in a hospital at all, especially without the option of laboring in a whirlpool. After my first visit, I knew she was definitely not the doctor for me. I racked my brain all the way home... how in the world was I going to have a remotely successful birth that I wouldn't look back on with horror? I got home and made an appointment with an OB in Natchez. I had heard great things about Dr Carey as a doctor and as a person, in fact, one of Cole's best friend's credits him to his wife surviving a very difficult miscarriage. But still, it's a small town, and I knew him. In fact, my mom works for him and his wife doing housekeeping and I taught his son guitar lessons. But I went forward knowing I was making the best decision. Then Merisha and I toured the 2 hospitals. Neither of them seemed as conducive to natural birth as I had hoped, but I made my choice. I trucked along for the first few months discouraged. After my first visit, I was very glad I had chosen Dr Carey to be my doctor, but still didn't want a hospital birth at all. It was just not what I had in mind. I decided to research doing natural childbirth in hospitals. Wow. I read all kinds of helpful things like "a hospital is the most unnatural environment imaginable to labor in," "hospitals are such a cold, sterile enviornment" and "doctors only care about what is easy for them, whereas a midwife has your best interest at heart." I'm pretty sure I had never been so discouraged in all of my life. I had resigned myself to having a regular hopsital birth with all of the medications that go with it because I honestly didn't belive it was possible to give birth naturally in a hospital and it be anything less than horrid. Much less a good experience.

I hired a doula to be a labor coach and to offer support and advice (that was definitely the best little chunk of change I've spent lately!) She was really encouraging that I could have a good experience regardless of the fact that I wasn't getting my way. So I stopped pouting, stopped reading the nay-say books and stopped listening to everyone's opinions. This was the only option I had and I was going to give it a shot! Who knows, I thought, it may not be as bad as they say. And you know what I learned? "People" are wrong. My doctor did care about how I felt and wanted me to have a good birth. My nurses were supportive of me wanting to try to go natural and honored my wishes. Laboring in a bed is not the end of the world. In fact, I found it far less painful than using the birthing ball my doula brought for me to try! No one tried to force me to get an epedural to make me easier to deal with. No one gave me unnecessary checks, cuts and surgeries.
And I did it. Not only that, it was a wonderful experience. So here's a success story. If you've got a doctor you trust to do what is best, nurses who care about your wishes, and a person or two cheering you on, natural childbirth in a hospital can be great :)

Introducing...

2009-11-20T00:47:00.002-06:00

Selina Grace Rutherford :)

Home

2009-09-30T13:54:00.002-05:00

I have learned over the years that I adapt very quickly to my surroundings. In a hut in the jungle, house sitting in a mansion, in a cabin in Colorado, it's all the same to me. Wherever I am, I am at home. But there's something different about leaving a home you've known and knowing you'll never return. When we moved out of our little apartment last Saturday I was almost sad. The place where our life together began, where we spent our first Christmas together, where we found out we were having a baby. In just a year so many memories were made there. When we dropped the keys in the slot on the office door at 10:00 last Sunday night and drove away, I felt homesick. But it was time.
Now, I'm settling in to our new home and looking forward to the memories we will have here. Bringing Selina home with us in just a few weeks will hopefully be the first of many happy times that make a home feel like a home. I feel a great sense of accomplishment as a walk through each room and see the (almost!) finished result of all of our hard work. When I opened all of the windows this morning to let in the beautiful fall air, sat snugly on the sofa with a cup of coffee and closed my eyes, I felt almost giddy about the new beginning. Yes, this place too will be my home.

Changing of Seasons

2009-09-05T18:07:00.002-05:00

This time last year I was in the home stretch of planning the most significant day of my life. My wedding day. As I walked along the bluff on a cool afternoon this past week I looked down to the spot some of my bridal portraits were taken. It was about this time last year, just as we were getting some cool days, that I was there looking out over the river in my wedding gown trying to imagine what it would be like to be a wife.
Seasons have changed from fall to winter to spring to summer and now coming back to fall. As the months have gone on I am amazed anew at God's faithfulness. I think back to a year ago and find it hard to remember what it was like to not be married to Cole. Now, with our first daughter due two days before our fist anniversary, I have different questions. What will it be like to be a mother? What will she look like? How will our lives change because of her? I don't worry, though. Because I know through all of the challenges and changes of my life, God has been faithful.
Sometime in the next 9 weeks, my life will change forever - again. And though I know that will bring good things and difficult things, God will be there and he will sanctify me through it.
As I write, our little baby girl squirms and moves within me and I think of something that a friend of a friend said years ago in a paper he wrote: "Remember that you are a living chalice which will one day bear souls for which Christ died to save. There is no greater calling in life than that." At the time I first read that I was about 15, but it has stuck with me. When I hear her heartbeat, feel her move, or try to imagine holding her in my arms for the first time, I know this is part of why I was created. To give her life, and prepare her to live eternally serving our God. What a privilege! What a responsibility! Ready or not, here she comes :)

Sonogram Pictures

2009-05-11T09:13:00.002-05:00

Here are the latest baby pictures! These are really similar, but the detail on the face was better in the first, and of everything else in the second so I put them both :-)

Happy Happenings

2009-05-01T10:35:00.003-05:00

Definitely the most noteworthy news of the year is that I'm going to have a baby! I'm due November 5, so that makes me currently about 13 weeks. The above picture was taken at 9 weeks and I have my second sonogram today, so I'll be posting pictures from that soon :-)

I have been excited from the start, but I think it's starting to sink in a little that the baby will actually be mine to keep. I've spent so much of my life taking care of other people's children and loving other people's children that I really couldn't imagine having one of my own and what that would feel like. I'm trying to imagine my life in six months when the baby comes home and it's with me all the time...no nights and weekends off as I've grown accustomed to with Sam. But more-so when I look into it's eyes and know it's a part of me. Pretty amazing stuff.

I haven't felt great during the first trimester, but no real sickness to speak of (let me again stress that I completely support the notion that Jennifer Williams should be admitted to sainthood). A lot of tiredness and a general "blah" feeling, but in all, I've been blessed in that this time around. What fun I am having plannng the nursery and picking out baby things!

Well, things to do, as always. Hopefully I'll get good pictures at my 3-D sonogram today!

And by the way, yes, I do realize I'm due 2 weeks and 1 day apart from Merisha, and no, we did not "plan" it that way :-P It's going to be fun!

Ramblings

2009-03-13T09:35:00.005-05:00

I had a dream last night that I had a baby girl and she wasn't very cute, but I loved her anyway.
Anyway, life has been very interesting over the past few weeks. We had Sam for a week while his parents were in St Thomas, so that was fun, but pretty exhausting.
Merisha's going to have a baby! I'm going with her to her first doctor's appoitment on Wednesday, which is very exciting. I think we should be able to hear the heartbeat and maybe even see a little blob :-)
Also, Cole got a new job! This was very exciting, even though God amazingly provided for us in the 6 weeks between jobs. I find that when I think too much about my circumstances I get worried and my trust in God starts to fade. The balance between being a responsible human being and trusting God in all things is sometimes a difficult rope to walk. But there really are circumstances in life that are completely and totally out of your own control. You do what you can to be responsible and try different things, but at the end of the day, you realize you're completely helpless. I've found myself in that place over and over in my life, and it always amazes me that the faithfulness of God really is never failing. Over the past few weeks there were a few times when I focused on my circumstances a little too much and freaked out, but all in all, I tried to remind myself about all of the other times God has been faithful in my life, and about his promises. Not that I believe being a Christian automatically means an easy life - far from it. But it means you're not alone in your struggles. It means that in the times of the most difficult trials, he carries you. There is nothing more comforting to me than that.

I'm alive!

2009-02-09T16:29:00.002-06:00

I always think that I'm going to start blogging again, but can not find the time. And sometimes when I do have time, I go to my blog, click "new post" and stare at the computer screen not knowing what to type.
My life isn't really boring, I promise, but bloggable? Probably not. Oh well!
First of all, I love being married. I really have the best husband ever. He always seems to know just the right thing to say or do to make life a little more wonderful :-) I don't feel like I've been married quite long enough for people to hear me say these things without saying "oh, just wait." I don't understand why people assume that newleyweds think that marriage will always be easy and that they should inform them otherwise.
Secondly, I love Sam. I never thought I'd be able to love a child that wasn't mine as much as I love him. I can say first hand that biblical discipline and training is doable, it works and is incredibly rewarding. Why don't more people do it? He's now 2 1/2 and loves to pretend he is hunting. He often tells me "Look, Robin, I got the big buck!" Being a nanny is definitely the best job ever :-)

I'm learning faith again, which isn't a bad thing. Sanctification is rarely fun, but I know it is worth it. I used to hope my children would have an easier life than I've had, but I don't anymore. They won't have the same circumstances that I did, but I want them to see firsthand that God is always faithful. I want them to see his grace, his justice, his love and his provision. I want them to know God.

So in all, I'm blessed. And I'm learning to see the blessings in things that don't look like such at first glance..

A Few Wedding Pictures

2008-12-08T16:10:00.001-06:00

For anyone who doesn't have facebook, you can view several pictures from my photographer using the link bellow:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=187179&l=31469&id=677170103

I can't wait til the rest of them come in!

The Wedding, the Honeymoon, and Life as a Wife

2008-11-20T06:48:00.003-06:00

I'm happy to report that my wedding was everything I'd hoped and dreamed it would be. The weather was perfect, my musicians followed through beautifully, I managed to keep it a secret that I would sing a song to Cole and that I had enlaid his wedding band with stones from my purity ring, we both said I do and lots of people cried. Cole surprised me with a horse and carriage to take us from the church to the reception, the cake was delicious and no one fell off of the bluff. There are a hundred other things that went beautifully, and very few that didn't. The best part is that I was not nervous at all! The day before the wedding I was, very much. Even at the bridesmaid breakfast on the morning of the wedding I was on pins and needles. I don't know what happened after that, though, because I was incredibly chill for the rest of the day, which was amazing.
I'm very glad that I will have photographs and a video, because even though I thoroughly enjoyed the wedding day, so much happened! I feel like it all went by so quickly.
The honeymoon in the Rocky Mountains was amazing! I had always wanted to visit there and I definitely wasn't disapointed. The weather was wonderfuly snowy and sunny, the mountains were beautiful and the people were - without exception - incredibly nice.
Now it's back to real life, and call me a newly wed with her head in the clouds, but I'm enjoying it. I told a friend of mine on the way back from my honeymoon "I guess it's back to reality!" and she replied "Yeah, but reality is so much better now because you have each other." I have found this to be true. I love being married and responsible for my own home. It's a lot of responsibility, but it is also brings me much joy.
As I read over this post it's a bit unlike my other posts. It's a bit thrown together and random. I almost deleated the entire thing and started fresh, but no. It'd take me ten years to write a detailed post of everything that has happened in the past couple of weeks. I may go back and write details on things, but here is an overview of my life so far :-)

The Beginning

2008-11-04T07:40:00.002-06:00

In four days my life will change. I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I'm excited to find out. I have moments of nervousness and fear, but for the most part I'm just thrilled to be on the verge of the beginning of the rest of my life.
The wedding won't be perfect, I know, but I really think it will be beautiful. There is still only a 10% chance of rain and the tempature should be absolutely wonderful! I have full confidence in my wedding coordinator, musicians, and friends and family who have offered to pull together to get everything ready. I still have several things on my "To Do" list, but nothing I can't manage.
A friend told me when I set this blog up several years ago "Once you get married, what are you going to do about the name of your blog? Change it to Matron-No-Longer-In-Waiting?" :-)
I still haven't decided about that. If you read one of the first posts I ever write, it could make sense to keep the current name, but I don't know. Hmm.
Okay, that was a bunny trail. Back to the subject. I'm excited! And even if nothing goes how its supposed to, I'm going home as the wife of the man I love. To me, that's perfect.

6 Things About Me

2008-10-15T22:50:00.003-05:00

I was tagged by Ashley

1 I like food. A lot. Pretty much any kind of food, as long as it's not raw or Ecuadorian, I'll eat it and take get a good amount of enjoyment out of it.

2 I want to live in a big city again!! I love Natchez, don't get me wrong, but I really miss living in a larger city. I think the food is the main thing I miss, actually. And Starbucks...

3 I play 4 instruments and sing. I wish I would have practiced more growing up!! I should be 15 x better on all of my instruments than I currently am, and it is extrodinarily distressing. When I lived in New Orleans, I had some of the finest teachers in this part of the country teaching me, and I totally took it for granted (kicking self repeatedly)

4 I want to travel - and possibly live - all over the world. The world is so big and amazing, I can't imagine spending my entire life in just one part of it!

5 I'm getting married in 24 days! That's crazy. I can't believe it's so soon! I'm very excited to start my new life with Cole and see what God will do with us :-)

6 I don't consider myself to be afraid of anything. But if I were honest, I'd say I'm insanely afraid of roaches. It's not a rational fear, but I think they are the most disgusting, ugly, hidious creatures on the planet and I scream and run and pitch a fit if I see one across the room. All I have to do is gasp and Cole starts saying "Where? Where is it?" It's rediculous that I could let an Ecuadorian spider run across my bed (while I was laying on it, might I add) and not even care, but when a roach is 50 feet away, I have a cow.

So there. I tag Merisha. But she won't do it, she hasn't blogged in like 6 months.

Trust

2008-09-24T14:12:00.004-05:00

Life has been very busy over the past several weeks. The closer I get to the wedding, the more details I have to work out, but everything is going very smoothly. I can't believe how quickly time goes by. When I got engaged on Valentine's Day, November 8th sounded like an eternity away, but now I have about a month and a half left. Forty five days from one of the most life altering days of my life. I don't know when it will all sink in that this is really happening.
One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how perfectly God provides our needs in His timing. From the apartment, to Cole's new job, to my raise, to all of the details coming to place for the wedding, I'm so grateful for the blessings I've been given recently. God's timing would have still be perfect if things weren't going how I thought they should go, of course, but I'm thankful that over the past several years He has taught me a lesson that will last me a lifetime: Trust. I don't worry about my life. He has proven time and time and time again that He will be faithful. Not that it will always be easy - far from it. But He will be there guiding and sustaining me through whatever He has for me to experience. That is a lesson I'd walk through the fire 1,000 times again to learn.

Prayer

2008-07-22T23:06:00.002-05:00

Why don't Christian's pray more? If we really believed in prayer like we say we do, and were confident in it's power, I think we would. But somewhere along the way, most Christian's loose sense of the incredible nature of prayer. If you think about it, it's really one of the most incredible things we will ever do. To be able to approach the Creator of the Universe, the One who holds all of life in His hand is really a sobering thought. Nowadays, when someone says "I'll pray for you" it means little more than "good luck!" I'm quite guilty of this myself. I always have the best of intentions of praying for that person, and probably do at least once, but somehow I get so busy thinking and doing a million different things, I forget one of the most important things I can do in a day.
The mystery of prayer never ceases to astound me. The balance of God's sovereignty and our responsibility to obey is quite a bit over my head. All I know is this: God is sovereign and His will will be accomplished. He has commanded that I pray and in doing this, I have the privilege of being involved in His work. Just another reminder that He is God and I am not. Oh how unfathomable are His ways! Somehow not always completely understanding Him makes me feel more secure, not less.

A random update: I chose my wedding ceremony music! It was not nearly as much of a big deal as I had myself believeing it was :-)

Weddings

2008-07-19T09:16:00.004-05:00

Today I will be playing flute for my friend Brooke's wedding. Being in weddings these days is a lot different than it used to be. It used to be a job, and occasionally I'd have a slight feeling of "this is going to be me one day...", but for the most part, I'd show up, play, eat wedding cake, and go on with my day. Now I feel like I should walk around all of these weddings with notebook in hand writing down ideas I would like to incorporate, decorations that look nice, what food is eaten most, and what things to avoid like the plague. I usually handle stress very well, but I'm finding myself laying in bed at night wondering what shoes I'll wear at the wedding, if all of the whites and blues in the decorations will go together, how many tulle bags I'm going to need for birdseed, rather or not I'll have enough decorations.... the list goes on.
This is ridiculous because I'm pretty ahead of the game as far as planning goes. Within the first month, I had all of my major vendors booked, my wedding party (mostly) chosen, all of my colors picked out and was care free as could be. But it's the details, which to me are the most important part, that are tripping me up. Mostly the music, now that I think about it. Being a musician, choosing music is a very difficult thing for me to do. I want it all, but on the other hand, none of it is nearly good enough! The only music I'm not worried about at all is my reception music. A couple of incredibly talented friends will be providing the music for that and anything they play or sing is going to be wonderful.
Alright. I've decided. My goal for this coming week is going to be choosing wedding ceremony music.

Seeking the Favor of God

2008-07-03T10:02:00.001-05:00

I worry far too much about what other people think. I didn’t really realize this until today. I have spent the past several days very discouraged constantly thinking I’m making people mad at me, saying the wrong thing and being unreasonable. Things that shouldn’t be a big deal or conversations that the other person has probably already forgotten have come back to mind over and over. “What did they think when I said this” “I wonder if it made them mad when I said that” “Does this person approve of what I’m doing?” It gets pretty exhausting trying to worry about what everyone thinks. I’m very conservative, but there are people in my acquaintance who hold more conservative views than I do. I also know and love many people who are quite liberal. This poses a problem when trying to worry about what everyone will think when they see my life.
I decided to find my answers in the only place they can really be found: the Scriptures. I didn’t really know where I should read, but flipped to Galatians and began reading. My answer came at the end of the first chapter:

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10

What would my life look like if after every conversation, I looked back and asked myself if Christ was honored in the words I spoke? What if before making any decision, I thought not of what others would say I should do or what others will think about whatever decision I make, but which choice would be the most favorable in the eyes of God? I think I would be far less stressed. I’m sometimes frustrated when people say “Who cares what anyone thinks?” because it shows a general disregard for the opinions of others. But as I think about it, most people don’t follow that statement with “I’m going to follow Christ, no matter the cost.” They follow it with “I’m going to do whatever I want to.” Therein lies the difference. Not caring if people are mad or disappointed because you are doing what you believe is right, rather or not if it is what you want to do.

Of course, I believe that it is the responsibility of brothers and sisters in Christ to bring it to someone when they see something in the other person’s life that they don’t believe is in line with scripture. But if the response to that is changing your ways just because you don’t want the person to be upset with you, it’s the wrong kind of change. It should be considered seriously through prayer, searching the Scripture and possibly seeking other counsel. But at the end of the day, rather or not you agree with that person, you have to determine rather or not change is necessary to honor God or if your change would just be eye service to please man.

This really isn’t a sermon! And it’s not a response to anyone telling me I needed to change anything, because though I’m sure plenty of people have plenty of legitimate things they could confront me with, they haven’t. Just something I have been thinking about for myself.
So today, when I get off the phone, when I leave a conversation, when I look at what I’m wearing and when I interact with Cole or Sam or anyone else, I want to ask myself if God was honored in it. If He was, I want to give Him glory. If He wasn’t, I want to recognize it, turn from it, and do better at my next opportunity.

Engagement Day

2008-05-28T17:18:00.001-05:00

Valentines Day, 2008 will make Valentines Day one of the most special days of the year for the rest of my life.

When I returned from breakfast with my mom (which I learned later was just a grand ploy to get me out of the house), I pulled into my driveway to see a teddy bear as big as me sitting in a lawn chair holding a rose, a huge chocolate bar and a note which read: “Follow the roses, Love.” I looked up to see a trail of roses leading down the hill in my backyard to right in front of the big azalea bush.
When I reached the end of the trail, there was a treasure chest on a bed of roses and red tulle. Upon opening the box, I saw that there was a card sitting on several inches of sand. The card was hand written in tiny print and completely full. It ended with these words: “If you ever wanto to know the depth of my love or how many ways I love you, count this sand.” I ran my fingers through the sand and shook my head, amazed at the love I had been blessed with. I was reminded again that I was the luckiest girl in the world.
I stood up and turned around and there he was, at the top of the hill :-)

We got everything ready to take to Windsor Ruins for our previously planned picnic, dropped Sam off with my mom and went on our way. Little did I know, the letter in the sand wasn’t going to be the highlight of the day. It was only beginning.

A tree blocked the entrance to the Ruins, so we continued on foot - in our formal attire – over the barbed wire fence and down the road. When I saw Windsor Ruins, I drew a quick breath. It was even more beautiful than I’d imagined. We down our picnic things and Cole asked me to walk with him. When I took his hand, I noted that he was shaking. Something big was about to happen. “Do you remember when we were in Ecuador, what I said to you? What I said I wasn’t doing?” “What do you mean?” “In the supermarket. Do you remember what I told you I wasn’t doing at that moment?” “Oh yes, that you weren’t falling down on your knees confessing undying love or anything?” I responded with a laugh. “Yeah.” He fell down to one knee, pulled a ring out of his pocket and said: “Well, now this is me falling down on my knees proclaiming undying love for you. Robin, will you make me the happiest man on earth? Will you share your life with me? Will you raise a family with me? Will you grow old with me? Robin, will you marry me?” With a voice quivering from excitement, I responded : “I always said I’d know I was in love when the prospect of being with someone forever went from seeming like an eternity to not nearly long enough. That’s exactly how I feel about you. Yes, I will marry you.”

He moved my purity ring to my right hand, placed his ring on my left and sprung to his feet. Then, the kiss we had saved our whole lives for each other. Well worth the twenty year wait :-)

Our day concluded with dinner at The Castle, where we had our first date. It was a perfect ending to the happiest day of my life up to then. But I have to say, as wonderful of day as it was, every day just gets better.

Friendship: A Beautiful Beginning

2008-05-14T15:22:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure I have absolutely no readers anymore, but I'm posting anyway :-)

As I'm sure everyone knows, I became engaged to Cole Rutherford on Valentine's Day of this year. I've decided to post a couple of entries that I wrote for our wedding website here. Enjoy!

The first picture we ever had of just the two of us, a few days before our courtship began.

"There is still a bit of dispute as to when our first meeting was. He says that when we first played our harp and flute duet at Parkway Baptist Church, he introduced himself. It’s probably true, but you can’t prove it by me.

I knew of Cole long before I ever met him. He practically lived with our pastor’s family, the Walkers, and they were always talking about Cole, Cole, Cole. Cole did this, Cole blew up that. The stories seemed to be never ending. One of the first times I went to the Walker’s, Lainie took me back to her room and proceeded to show me what seemed like 50 million pictures from their recent trip to Ecuador. “Here’s Cole and Henry!” She laughed. I looked over to see a picture of a giant white man in a skirt, with black stripes painted on his face and bare chest. He had some weird red stuff in his hair and what looked like an arrangement of cotton balls on his head. He was standing next to a comparatively very small Tsachila man. “Odd.” I thought. “Very odd.”

I remember the first time I noticed him. I was sitting with my family in the back of the church, trying to concentrate, but I was distracted by a figure on the second row. I thought he may be the Cole of all of the stories I’d heard, but I wasn’t quite sure. Whoever he was, something was different about him. He radiated passion for God. I knew that what I sought above all else in my future husband was a consuming passion for the Gospel. When I saw him I thought to myself “I want a guy like that. Whoever gets him is going to be an incredibly lucky girl.”

On September 23rd, 2006, we went to an ice cream social for the College and Career group. Cole came over to where Merisha and I were sitting and talked to us the entire evening. He was pretty much the only person who said more than five words to us for several weeks, so, of course, we became friends. Over the months to come, we saw each other every day. He was over several days a week for dinner, and the three of us went everywhere together. Bonfires, to the mall, out to eat, you name it. We didn’t have a car, so he drove us around to all of the church functions too. The more we got to know each other as friends, the more I was shocked to find out how unified we were in our beliefs and views. I struggled to remain platonic, but the more I knew of him, the more I was impressed and saw in him qualities and views I wanted in my husband. I knew for several reasons that he was out of reach and “Teardrops on my Guitar” became my favorite song. I told myself everyday that if all I ever had with him was friendship, I’d be satisfied.

Around Christmas, our friendship grew deeper, and by Spring, though we were both very verbal about not being in a relationship, we were viewed by everyone as a couple. We denied it, even to ourselves, but we were both - almost against our own wills - falling in love."

A Recurring Theme

2008-01-09T14:08:00.000-06:00

The Sunday just a few days before Christmas I attended the funeral of a lady from my church who had been suffering from cancer for years. She was survived by a son who is about twenty one, and another who will graduate high school in May.
The next weekend, I was playing and singing at the funeral of Cole's great-grandmother. We had just spent Christmas together and she seemed fine, two days later we were rushing to the hospital to hold her hand as she drew her last breaths.
A few days later, at four o'clock on New Year's morning, a man from our church accidentally shot and killed his wife mistaking her for an intruder. Very few couple's love for each other is more evident than theirs was. The wide range of emotions, the questions...

Three weekends. Three funerals. By the time I got home from the most recent funeral on Saturday, I literally had no more nice black clothes in my closet and was completely emotionally drained.
It seems like over and over I post about the brevity of life, but over and over it is impressed on me.

Cole and I started reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper today. I read it a couple of years ago, but the more I live, the more I realize I don't have forever. Life is so short. Who knows the number of years allotted to them? Who knows if they will have the next breath?
A few months ago I had a very morbid thought. I was sitting in the fellowship hall at our church looking out at the people when it occurred to me: In one hundred years, we will all be gone. I looked at Sam, I looked at Cole, I looked at my sister, I looked at my friends. All of us, in not to long a time compared to history, will die.
I look at the people that I love, the things that I do, everything that seems so important to me and realize that it will pass away.
When I think of these things I find myself identifying with Solomon in Ecclesiastics 9:
5 For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten. 6 Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.

There is a sense in which our legacy will hopefully live on, but there is another aspect that two hundred years from now, the world will be populated with completely new people. People who never knew me and who never knew you. "What's the point? We live, we work, we love, we die. Meaningless!"

But it doesn't end there. The last few verses of the book tell us to live our short, seemingly meaningless life to the fullest
7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun--all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

Though after weeks like I've had recently I get frustrated with the very concept of existence, I know there is a point to life. I know there is a reason for existence.
"What is the chief end of man?" The Westminster Catechism asks.
The response sounds simple, but it's so true and so hard to keep focused on:
"To glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

With every breath, with every action, with every word. Glorify God.

Thanksmas 2007

2007-11-28T10:34:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. The main reason is because it is the one time a year that all of my family is together under one roof for a few days. It always amazes me how I can only see my cousins once a year, yet each time we see each other, we pick up right back up where we left off. Another reason is because it is one holiday that is relatively uncomercialized. I like that I can walk through a store without being bombarded with advertisements telling me that if I REALLY loved someone, I'd buy them a particular item.

This Thanksgiving I was particularly grateful to have all of my family together as my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago. They say when someone in your family has cancer, it changes your entire outlook on life. I think that may be true. I found myself looking around the house at my family and thinking "Life is short, a mere breath then it passes away. We won't all be together long, but I am so blessed that we are together today." Every Thanksgiving I post about how grateful I am for my family, but if it's worth saying once, it's worth saying over and over again! I'm fairly convinced that I have the most wonderful family ever. Praise God for families that are centered around Him!!

All of us!

Cole meets the family. He doesn't look too nervous...

In front of the Thanksmas tree :-)

When I've been married as long as my grandparents have, I want to still be this sweet. The love they have for one another is more evident with each passing year.

The Brevity of Life

2007-09-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

This summer has been culture shock for me.
At the beginning of the summer, the first friend of mine around my age got married. This shocked me. We’re not old enough to get married! But yes, I suppose we are. As I entered into a courtship just a few weeks later, I realized anew just how time flies. How did we go from little girls playing dress up to attending each other’s weddings? Where did the time go?

Then today I found out news that stunned me. A childhood friend of mine died. She and I weren’t close friends when we were young, and completely lost touch as we grew older. But still. I knew her; I played with her not too many years ago. “We’re too young to die!” was my first thought. Death is for the old, for the feeble...not a 22 year old young woman. But no, we aren’t too young to die.

Life is but a breath. Fleeting.
In the past several years I have had a phrase that comes to mind over and over and over. Seize the moment. Seize the moment. Seize the moment. It is hard for me to seize the moment sometimes. I am so prone to let impatience try to rush me along, not allowing me to enjoy the season I am in because I am too busy worrying about and longing for the next one.
But then I look around, see how much life has changed so quickly, see how much people have changed and I cry out “Oh Lord, help me live today for you. Don’t let me waste this life you have given me!”

Time is such a precious gift, but so easy to waste. I love the quote “Do you love life? Then do not waste time, for time is what life is made of.” That is so true. The little decisions, the melancholy tasks that I perform day to day. That is my life. Not a moment of it should be wasted.
After considering this topic for quite some time, I came across and read Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper a year or two ago. It really helped define all of the things about life and time and living each day to it’s fullest for Christ and renewed my perspective of life in general. Anyone who hasn’t read it needs to!

There is a country song out by Kenny Chesney called Don’t Blink which I decided to post here. I found it quite thought provoking.

1st Verse
I turned on the evenin' news
Saw an old man being interviewed
Turnin' a hundred and two today
They asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his ol' pipe
Laughed and said, 'All I can say is'

Chorus
Don't blink
Just like that
You're six years old and you take a nap
And you wake up and you're twenty-five
And your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growin' like mine did
Turnin' into moms and dads
Next thing you know
Your better half of fifty years is there in bed
And you're prayin' God takes you instead
Trust me friend
A hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

2nd Verse
I was glued to my TV
When it looked like he looked at me
And said, 'Let's start puttin' first things first'
'Cause when your hourglass runs outta sand
You can't flip it over, start again
Take every breath God gives you, for what it's worth

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge
So I been tryin' to slow it down
I been tryin' to take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

(Repeat Chorus)

Tag
Naw, don't blink
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think
Don't blink
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think

Eight Random Facts About Me

2007-07-30T11:07:00.000-05:00

THE RULES! Each player lists 8 facts or habits about themselves; the rules of the game are to be posted first; at the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people.

1. I am glad that I went through the 80's completely oblivious.
2. Until the time I was 15, I wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or with make up and I swore I'd never, ever have long hair. At 19, I wear skirts almost exclusively, put on makeup within 10 minutes of waking up every morning and have my hair to my waist.
3. I believe in predestination but don't take the term "Calvinist" too seriously. Though for the sake of giving an explination of what I believe, I may use the term Calvinism, I really don't consider myself a Calvinist. I'm a Christian. I don't care what Calvin said...I care what the Bible says. I just happen to believe that they are very similar.
4. I hate roaches. HATE roaches. They make me shiver and scream.
5. I am friends with a lot of people, but don't open up to them very often. Because of this, most people, even my closest friends, don't know who I really am.
6. I'm courting a guy who is nine weeks younger than me and we have spent 80% of our official relationship on different continents.
7. I have gotten attached to clothes shopping. Especially sales. Half the fun of having new clothes is saying "Oh thank you, I'm glad you like it...it was $5 at the outlet."
8. I went out of the country for the first time this summer. I liked it very much, as I knew I would. It only reinforced my dream to travel the world. Maybe someday...

People I tag- Everyone who would do it has already been tagged...so whatever.

The Prayer of the Unknown Confederate Soldier

2007-07-13T21:58:00.000-05:00

I asked God for strength that I might achieve,

I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for help that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy,

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men,

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life,

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Happy 4th of July

2007-07-04T18:48:00.000-05:00

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

Crucified with Christ

2007-06-19T18:33:00.000-05:00

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20

This is, to me, one of the most incomprehensible passages of scripture I've read. To be crucified with Christ, dead to sin, alive to righteousness.
It a very humbling way to view your life. Dead, sacrificed completely to the will of God. It is humbling that when people see our lives, what they're seeing isn't us. Anything good...it's not us. I see more and more clearly every day just what I am apart from Christ: wretched, depraved and utterly hopeless. Because of His mercy and grace, He has seen fit to save me from myself. When you think of it that way, it really takes the boasting out of existence. When you see yourself as you truly are, and see God as he truly is, how can you even think about taking credit for anything good or holy in your life? Yes, we work toward righteousness; Yes, we strive to be more holy. But even our best efforts are in vain without His grace. He gives us the desire to be holy and righteous. That is phenomenal to me...not only does he ordain our sanctification, but He gives us the desire to strive towards it.

" But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Gal 6:14
Oh, let this be true of me!

Crucified with Christ is one of my very favorite songs. I think it is my favorite because of just how rich it is in scripture line after line, verse after verse.
I have posted it here:

Crucified with Christ
Phillips, Craig and Dean

VERSE 1:
As I look back on what I thought was living
I'm amazed at the price I choose to pay
And to think I ignored what really mattered
Cause I thought the sacrifice would be too great
But when I finally reached the point of giving in
I found the cross was calling even then
And even though it took dying to survive
I've never felt so much alive.

CHORUS:
For I am crucified with Christ and yet I live
Not I but Christ that lives within me
His Cross will never ask for more than I can give
For its not my strength but His
There's no greater sacrifice
For I am crucified with Christ and yet I live

VERSE 2:
As I hear the Savior call for daily dying
I will bow beneath the weight of Calvary
Let my hands surrender to His piercing purpose
That holds be to the cross but sets me free
I will glory in the power of the cross
The things I thought were gain I count as loss
And with His suffering I identify
And by His resurrection power I am alive

BRIDGE:

And I will offer all I have
So that His cross is not in vain
For I found to live is Christ
And to die is truly gain

A Calmer Faith

2007-03-20T14:09:00.000-05:00

“A calmer faith...where we don’t revolt when His plan and ours conflict. Where we relax in the midst of an answerless season. Where we accept (and expect) deserts in our spiritual journey as surely as we do joy. Where we are not intimidated or persuaded by other people’s agendas but moved only by Him. Where we weep in repentance, sleep in peace, live in fullness and sing of victory.”
-Patsy Clairmont

Gratefulness

2007-03-11T22:56:00.000-05:00

Two weekends ago we visited New Orleans. It was the first time for me to be back at my home church since right after Katrina, and I had very mixed emotions as I walked in.
After a wonderful worship service and a time of visiting with dear church family, it started to clear out in the church. Just like old times, we were the last ones to leave :-)
But before we left, I couldn’t help but revisit the place where years ago I felt the urgency of the call of Christ so clearly and so keenly that I felt no other choice than to kneel and repent of my sin. I walked in the classroom and looked around. The room looked almost exactly the same, these 11 ½ years later. The words from the song “This is Where I Met Jesus” echoed through my mind and tears filled my eyes as I knelt in the spot where He quickened my soul and redeemed me. Thoughts flooded my mind: Why did You choose to save me? Why did you look at my 6 year old self and convict me of my need for You? I don’t understand that kind of love. You spared me the regrets and pain of living my life without Your Spirit. You carried me through the valley of the shadow of death, teaching me that You are my Father in a more real sense than I can ever comprehend.
There was only one thing I could stammer: “Thank you, Lord. Thank you.”

Thank you seems to fall so short when trying to express the immense gratitude for the salvation He has given, but what more is there to say? So here I stand, I grateful recepient of His grace. Soli Deo Gloria!

A Valentines Day Post: For Everything There is a Season

2007-02-14T23:39:00.000-06:00

At nineteen, this is the first Valentine's Day that I've actually considered myself to be single.
All the previous years, I just considered myself too young for a relationship.
But this year it sort of hit me. When it did, I was surprised to discover that this fact doesn't devistate me. And it's not because I don't want to get married. No, not that at all. It's because I'm scared to death to get married if it's not God's timing. I assume that since I'm not in a relationship, it must not be His timing yet. His timing might be tomorrow, I don't know. But rather than concerning me, it makes me feel secure and evokes me to breathe a prayer of thanksgiving that I know I can trust the timing of my Father.

During this season of singleness, I do not see it as a burden. I see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to seize this time I have to serve God wholeheartedly, for I know not how long I have left.
Someday soon, if the Lord wills it, I will enter a new season. A season of having the privilege to be a picture to the world of Christ and his Bride, the church. A season of serving and caring for my husband and family. But now, while I anticipate and prepare and long for that day, God is teaching me that His timing is perfect and that when I trust Him, I will never be disappointed.
In contemplating these things, a certain scripture came to mind and I was inspired to post it here.

Ecclesiastes 3 1-14

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man. I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him."

The Power of the Gospel

2007-01-19T21:20:00.000-06:00

Our pastor is taking us through a year long in-depth study of 1 Corinthians. We started a few months ago, but one thing that keeps coming back to my mind again and again are Paul's words about preaching the gospel.

After one of his sermons on this subject, I e-mail'd my pastor asking for prayer as I knew I'd be having the opportunity to share the gospel with someone dear to me.
His response was this:
"Be bold with the gospel...our confidence is not in "persuasive words of wisdom" but in the power of the gospel itself."

The power is the gospel, not how fluffy, flowery and nice I can make it sound. The Word is clear about what will follow being a Christian: pain, tribulation and persecution. But it is also clear about something else: It's worth it. Infinitely worth it.

I wonder how different our evangelism would look if we were to stop making the cross of Christ void by trying to be clever in our witnessing? What if we instead preached the purity of the gospel in all of its power and glory? What if we said what Christ said "If you follow me you will endure persecution" to people who weren't yet saved? What if the church stopped trying to trick people into coming to becoming Christians by emotional highs and half truths and simply taught them the gospel? What if we began to see what privilege it is just to have the opportunity to worship our great God and were able to share that with others without apologizing that being a Christian isn't "fun" in the secular sense? What if we stopped trying to convince them that if they become a Christian they won't have to give up anything? What if we told them the truth: That they have to give up everything. Everything. Die daily, pick up their cross and follow Christ? What would happen if we then told them of the glory of the world to come, our hope?
I wonder.

The scripture that provoked these thoughts:

"For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would be made void.
For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
For it is written,
"I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE, AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE."
And when I came to you, brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God."
1 Cor 1:18-19, 2:1-5

2006-12-29T19:57:00.000-06:00

The bonnie lad and lassies. Merisha and I happened to be in our family tartin skirts when Cole came in with his family tartin kilt that he got for Christmas. Fun times...

2006-12-29T19:49:00.000-06:00

The Christmas music group. After a bit of persuasion, Pastor Bart joined in our ensamble for Christmas carols. It was wonderful...it'd been waaaay too long since we'd played with a guitar :-)

2006-12-29T19:32:00.000-06:00

Christmas dinner:
Possum...mmm!

2006-12-28T22:28:00.000-06:00

Me and my mommy on Christmas

Yay for Christmas Pictures!

2006-12-27T11:09:00.000-06:00

My favorite Christmas 2006 picture. The three of us under the Christmas tree :-)

Christmas Crew 2006. Us, the Walkers and Cole. Not family, but have become pretty close.

Isaiah 9 has been fulfilled!

2006-12-26T00:46:00.000-06:00

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light. For those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned... For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and this government shall be on his shoulder. And his name shall be called: Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.
Isaiah 9:2,6,7

Hallelujah, Christ is born! What wonderous love that caused Christ to leave His throne in heaven to come as a humble babe in a manger, wrapping himself in humanity for this for a disctinct purpose: to satisfy the wrath, righteousness, justice and love of His Father. To be crushed for our iniquities, to save His people from their sins. Praise be to God for this incredible gift!

A Great Moral Teacher or Lord and God?

2006-12-23T22:47:00.000-06:00

"One part of the claim [of Jesus to be God] tends to slip past us unnoticed because we have heard it so often that we no longer see what it amounts to. I mean the claim to forgive sins: any sins. Now unless the speaker is God, this is really so preposterous as to be comic. We can all understand how a man forgives offences against himself. You tread on my toes and I forgive you, you steal my money and I forgive you. But what should we make of a man, himself unrobbed and untrodden on, who announced that he forgave you for treading on other men's toes and stealing other men's money? Asinine fatuity is the kindest description we should give of his conduct. Yet this is what Jesus did. He told people that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He unhesitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned, the person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense only if He really was the God whose laws are broken and whose love is wounded in ever sin. In the mouth of any speaker who is not God, these words would imply what I can only regard as silliness and conceit unrivalled by any other character in history.

Yet (and this is the strange, significant thing) even His enemies, when they read the Gospels, do not usually get the impression of silliness and conceit. Still less do unprejudiced readers. Christ says that He is 'humble and meek' and we believe Him; not noticing that, if He were merely a man, humility and meekness are the very last characteristics we could attribute to some of His sayings.

I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not have been a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would have been the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God."

C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity, Chapter 3

:-D

2006-12-13T20:12:00.000-06:00

Today is a wonderful day. It all started with a long (for me!) bike ride of about 6 miles on the Natchez Trace with a new friend. In fact, I realized that this is the first "one-on-one" time I've had with any of my new acquaintances in Natchez since I moved here. I guess I mostly do stuff with groups and always with Merisha. Anyway, it made me feel energized and happy :-)
Soo, then I picked up my little charge and spent the morning babbling to him in baby-talk. For lunch, Merisha and I played for the Rotary Club (a meeting of lots of important and influential people) and they all LOVED the music. We even got a standing ovation, which surprised me to no end. After we were finished, we had lots of people ask for our business cards and even booked events to play this very week! Yay!
And tonight I'm eating dinner with another new friend and then will see some church people, which I always look forward to. Maybe we'll even play some music tonight!

So anyway, God is (of course) good even when things are going badly, being Sovereign as He is. But today I'm grateful to Him for blessing me with a happy day :-)
I'm glad not every day is this good...I probably wouldn't appreciate them nearly as much if they were.

Merisha's Birthday

2006-12-01T13:56:00.000-06:00

Today is the day that my sister turns twenty.
As I try to grasp the fact that she is now two decades old, I think back over our lives together and wonder Where have the years gone? Wasn't it yesterday that we were playing dress up and dreaming of what it would be like to be "big girls"?

I have to say that my sister is one of the most incredible people on the planet, and I'm not just being bias. For one thing, anyone who can put up with me 24/7 for the past almost 19 years deserves to be canonized :)
Though we are very different in many ways, we are completely unified in everything foundational. It's rather uncanny how one of us will go to the other and say "You know, God has really brought this truth or scripture to my mind a lot" and the response is often "Wow, I've been thinking the EXACT same thing."
We finish each other's sentences and when a question is asked, our response is more often than not in unison. I really love my sister :)

But most importantly, Her passion for God and knowing Him to a greater degree is infectious...oh that there were more women like my sister!
Her convictions and beliefs are unshakable, but her humility and kindness balance her out very well. She never ceases to amaze me when she fluently and with confidence defends even the most controversial and attacked parts of our faith with graciousness.

Happy Birthday, Merisha! I am blessed beyond measure in having you for a sister. If I could have asked God for everything I wanted in a sister, I still wouldn't have been capable of thinking up anyone as great as you are. I love you.
"The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace." '

You're my sister...and you're the favorite ;)
~Robin <><

I'm Thankful

2006-11-25T21:13:00.000-06:00

Yes, this post is late, but I've been having such a wonderful time with my family, I haven't been willing to sacrifice the sweet time with them to blog :)

I have to say, every year I realize more and more what I have to be thankful for and the importance of gratitude. Things that I would have never considered thanking God for I'm finding myself saying "Wow, thank you, Lord!"

I really feel like every year I post the same things that I'm thankful for, but one of the pastors from our church the other day posed the question to the children of our church "has anyone ever done anything so nice for you that you felt like 'thank you' just wasn't enough?" and for some reason that stuck with me. That's how I feel sometimes. Just saying 'thank you' once or twice or a million times to God for all of His blessings just doesn't seem like enough.

The first on my list must be the unfathomable grace that God has extended to me. I am eternally grateful to Him for calling me out of darkness and redeeming my soul. I cannot comprehend the kind of love that sees creatures in such a state of sin and depravity and loves them in spite of it. I'm thankful that I don't get what I deserve. I deserve death, but He gave me life. I am thankful that Jesus obediently became the propitiation for our sins and satisfied the righteous wrath of God. I am grateful that I now get justice, not based on my life, but on His death. If this grace were the only thing that He ever blessed me with, I would be complete. But in His sovereignty, He has bestowed me with other wonderful gifts.

Second to my salvation, my family is the greatest blessing in my life.My mother and sister are two of the most godly women that I know, and I am blessed every day of my life to live in unity with them. Through the hardest of life's trials we have been brought closer, and through the fire we have together been refined. My dad has taught me so much over the years, and always being a "daddy's girl", I thank God for allowing me to be his daughter. I consider bearing my father's name to be a privilege and I pray every day that my relationship with him would be whatever God would mold it into for His purposes and glory. My extended family are also quite precious to me. There is a very special bond in our extended family that I have observed is absent in many others that I know. Though we vary widely on beliefs, lifestyles and ideas, there is something that holds us all together. Of course, that thing that holds us together is our shared love for Christ. I cannot express the joy I feel when I see my little cousins walk with the Lord, hear my grandfather pray, and feel the unity of Christ when I look into my uncle's eyes. Praise to God that we all are unified in our faith in Him!

Being thankful for my family would be incomplete without expressing gratitude for my spiritual family. The church universal, and spicifically the brothers and sisters in the various churches in that we have walked in fellowship with over the past couple of years and that we have recently met upon moving to Natchez. Though God saw fit for me to only have one biological sibling, a sister, He has made me especially aware of my brothers and sisters in Christ, some of them my very best friends. I am always astounded by the love and grace of God shining through in the lives of His children.

I got flack for saying this last year, but it's true so I shall say it again :-D I am grateful that God saw fit for me to be born an American! I am furthermore always grateful for those fighting for our freedom, willing to pay the ultimate price for the survival of liberty. When I stop to think about it, that willingness and devotion astounds me. This nation was founded on Christ, and I pray that it will one day return to Him.

And though it might sound strange, I truly am grateful for the trials that God has allowed in my life. Some of the trials have been seen by others, some of them have not been, but God has walked with me - and often times carried me through them all. The fire is hot and sometimes excruciatingly painful, but God has proven Himself faithful again and again and again. Great is Thy faithfulness unto me!

A phone conversation I had tonight

2006-11-15T22:00:00.000-06:00

"Hi-ya Daddy!"
"Hi, Robin, how are yo - wait, is that a MAN'S voice I hear in the background?"
"Mm-hmm, I'm at -"
"Roooobin, I guess I should now ask his name? Where does he live?"
"But..."
"What does he drive? How long have you known him?"
"Dad, he's -"
"Is he a nice guy?"
"Dad! I'm at church! You're hearing voices because bible study just let out and people are talking."
"Oh."

I think I've got a loooong few years ahead of me...

Here I go again

2006-11-04T11:02:00.000-06:00

I sooo often fall into this category...

Lyrics from "Here I Go Again" by Casting Crowns

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

'Cause here I go again
Talkin 'bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love Him
But here I go again, here I go again

Reformation Day

2006-10-31T21:19:00.000-06:00

In honor of Reformation Day, I read the ninty five thesis today. There were several interesting ponits made, but this really stuck out to me...
"The true treasure of the Church is the Most Holy Gospel of the glory and the grace of God." Martin Luther 95 Thesis, Nubmer 62

I liked that.

A Visit Home...

2006-10-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

I went to New Orleans last week. We picked up a friend of mine and headed off headed off down Esplanade to find something to eat. I've never been very familliar with the East Bank, and was a little confused as to where I was. But as we crossed Williams, I made a mental note: "Oh yes, I know where I am! At the corner of Esplanade and Williams...when did they put that Wallmart Marketplace there?"

After running hither, thither and yon, we returned back to our friend's house where the evening news happened to be on.
"There was a murder in this afternoon near the intersection of Esplanade and Williams. The suspect ran into the Wallmart Marketplace parking lot..."

I was shocked. Not that there was a murder in New Orleans, but that it was frighteningly close to where we were, and at the same time. We went back and forth across that intersection at least 5 times! Looking back, I remember hearing sirens and seeing police cars in the Walmart parking lot...but who ever would've thought?

I Think I'm Homesick

2006-10-23T18:12:00.000-05:00

I say I think because I’m not exactly sure...I’ve never really been homesick before. I’m the one who, after being away for weeks and weeks will get a phone call from my mom asking "Homesick yet?" and I have to quickly decide rather to be nice and say "Oh yeah, of course!" or be honest.
But this time it’s true. I really do miss home. I mean, of course I miss New Orleans (the good parts, that is) in and of itself, but what I really miss are all of my friendships that were there. You know, the deep kind that take lots of time and effort to build...often years.
Moving to a city where you don’t know a soul has some fun aspects, but there are some challenges as well.
One advantage is that you get to make new friends. We have met some very nice people, some of which will, I think, become very close friends, but deep friendships just take time to build.

Not knowing anyone has made me a little crazy lately. Those of you who know me should get a kick out of some actual thoughts that ran though my head yesterday...they are so un-typical for me:
"Should I go say hello to them?" "Why does she never speak to me?" "Did he think I was being flirtatious?" "Will these people think I’m sassy and arrogant when they see my sunglasses picture on my myspace?" "Did he know I was kidding?" "Did she know I was serious?"
I obsessed over writing 2 e-mails, 2 myspace messages and 1 comment. This is absolutely insane.
It’s not that I don’t worry about offending my New Orleans friends or that I feel like I can just be flippant and take their friendship for granted...it’s that I know them and they know me. We can pretty much figure out where the other is coming from.

I miss really knowing everyone. I mean, I never wondered rather or not I should hug Leah, sit next to Christian, talk to Matthew or e-mail James.
I never have to explain where I’m coming from to Shelby or wonder if Jeff took something I said the wrong way. I never apologized for "unloading" on Mrs. Yvette or wondered if I was approachable enough for Amanda to tell me what was on her heart.
Elise could read my mind and put a finger on what was troubling me before most people could even notice a thing.

You know, there really is something frightening about getting to know people - really getting to know people, not the "Hi, how are you?" "Fine, how are you?" friendships, those are easy - it’s the real friendships where things get complicated and risky.
When people see your strengths and weaknesses, triumphs and defeats, successes and failures - when people see enough of you to see who you really are - it’s a vulnerable position.
People have seen me both grow in my relationship with Christ and fail miserably. They’ve heard me say really stupid things, struggle with real issues and sometimes fall flat on my face.
I’ve been through some really tough times with people, and they’ve been through really though times with me. We have rejoiced together and walked together in the courts of the Lord.
I miss those relationships...I think I’m homesick.

Robin returns to blogdom

2006-10-21T10:39:00.000-05:00

I'm alive! But not only am I alive, I am also exceedingly happy. Why am I happy? Because the new computer came in and is allowing me online for more than 30 seconds at a time.
I have about 5 random, unconnected blog post ideas floating around in my head, so you might just see regular posting from me for a while :)

Until then, I leave you with this scripture. A beautiful mystery...

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

~Robin <><

My 100th Post!

2006-10-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

Beautiful...

2006-10-01T17:28:00.000-05:00

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.
Romans 11:33-36

Just when I start to get bogged down with all things I don't understand, just when I start focusing on how many questions I have, I come across this verse. It always compells me to breathe a prayer of thanksgiving as I get a glimpse of just how great a God he really is.

To Him be glory forever!

Random Picture

2006-09-28T15:59:00.000-05:00

Merisha and me with our favorite instruments.

Autumn

2006-09-24T13:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the first day of autumn. This makes me very happy because I’m finding that being such northerners now (we’re quite a bit north of I-10 now, you know), we have much more season differentiation than I’ve ever known.
To my surprise, we have already had several very nice cooler days! Even in August we had some that were cool! This is a strange new experience for me, but I’m finding that I will very much like having four seasons.
Our autumn and winter clothes come out of the attic…out with the white and pastels, bring on the dark and dramatic! I love season changes.

~Robin <><

Psalm 143

2006-09-21T20:49:00.000-05:00

1 I will extol thee, my God, O king; and I will bless thy name for ever and ever. 2 Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever. 3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable. 4 One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts. 5 I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, and of thy wondrous works. 6 And men shall speak of the might of thy terrible acts: and I will declare thy greatness. 7 They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness, and shall sing of thy righteousness. 8 The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. 9 The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.
10 All thy works shall praise thee, O LORD; and thy saints shall bless thee. 11 They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power; 12 To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts, and the glorious majesty of his kingdom. 13 Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and thy dominion endureth throughout all generations. 14 The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down. 15 The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. 16 Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. 17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. 18 The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. 19 He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. 20 The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. 21 My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever.

I have been knitting lately

2006-09-18T19:42:00.000-05:00

Knitting scarves, to be exact.
Now, this is quite a strange turn of events. I have always been a crochet person and found knitting quite dull. A dear friend is an avid knitter and though she couldn't talk me into liking it when we lived together, I have since tried it again and found it quite to my liking. I have found the trick is to buy fun, festive yarn.
My problem now is that I have at least 3 crochet projects going, 2 cross stitch projects and now I'm adding knitting to the mix. Hmm. Everyone will be receiving half finished Christmas gifts if I keep adding projects at this rate :)

I Remember September 11, 2001.

2006-09-11T15:46:00.000-05:00

I remember being thirteen years old as I watched on live TV the collapse of the World Trade Centers, saw the destruction of the Pentagon and saw the field where United flight 93 was crashed.
I remember the shock, the confusion and the terror on everyone's faces.

I remember wondering if there would be more attacks.

I remember the prayer services of churches all over the country being packed out.

I remember hearing of people standing in line for 6 hours to give blood.

I remember the floods of flags hanging poudly everywhere, as far as I could see.

I remember our country standing united.

It's been five years now, but it seems like yesterday. Like yesterday when our country was attacked, when thousands of people died, when I had something in common with every single stranger I saw or talked to.

Five years, but I still found it heartwrenching to see the pictures again, to read quotes of people who called from the planes and World Trade Center to say good bye to their families, to read accounts of the families left to carry on.

Though the country is again divided and splintered, I remember the day that brought everyone together.
I remember September 11th.

I really love this story...

2006-09-09T08:39:00.000-05:00

Joshua 22
1 Then Joshua summoned the Reubenites and the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh, 2 and said to them, "You have kept all that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, and have listened to my voice in all that I commanded you. 3 "You have not forsaken your brothers these many days to this day, but have kept the charge of the commandment of the LORD your God. 4 "And now the LORD your God has given rest to your brothers, as He spoke to them; therefore turn now and go to your tents, to the land of your possession, which Moses the servant of the LORD gave you beyond the Jordan. 5 "Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God and walk in all His ways and keep His commandments and hold fast to Him and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul." 6 So Joshua blessed them and sent them away, and they went to their tents. 7 Now to the one half-tribe of Manasseh Moses had given {a possession} in Bashan, but to the other half Joshua gave {a possession} among their brothers westward beyond the Jordan. So when Joshua sent them away to their tents, he blessed them, 8 and said to them, "Return to your tents with great riches and with very much livestock, with silver, gold, bronze, iron, and with very many clothes; divide the spoil of your enemies with your brothers." 9 The sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh returned {home} and departed from the sons of Israel at Shiloh which is in the land of Canaan, to go to the land of Gilead, to the land of their possession which they had possessed, according to the command of the LORD through Moses.
10 When they came to the region of the Jordan which is in the land of Canaan, the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh built an altar there by the Jordan, a large altar in appearance. 11 And the sons of Israel heard {it} said, "Behold, the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh have built an altar at the frontier of the land of Canaan, in the region of the Jordan, on the side {belonging to} the sons of Israel." 12 When the sons of Israel heard {of it,} the whole congregation of the sons of Israel gathered themselves at Shiloh to go up against them in war. 13 Then the sons of Israel sent to the sons of Reuben and to the sons of Gad and to the half-tribe of Manasseh, into the land of Gilead, Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, 14 and with him ten chiefs, one chief for each father's household from each of the tribes of Israel; and each one of them {was} the head of his father's household among the thousands of Israel. 15 They came to the sons of Reuben and to the sons of Gad and to the half-tribe of Manasseh, to the land of Gilead, and they spoke with them saying, 16 "Thus says the whole congregation of the LORD, 'What is this unfaithful act which you have committed against the God of Israel, turning away from following the LORD this day, by building yourselves an altar, to rebel against the LORD this day? 17 'Is not the iniquity of Peor enough for us, from which we have not cleansed ourselves to this day, although a plague came on the congregation of the LORD, 18 that you must turn away this day from following the LORD? If you rebel against the LORD today, He will be angry with the whole congregation of Israel tomorrow. 19 'If, however, the land of your possession is unclean, then cross into the land of the possession of the LORD, where the LORD'S tabernacle stands, and take possession among us. Only do not rebel against the LORD, or rebel against us by building an altar for yourselves, besides the altar of the LORD our God. 20 'Did not Achan the son of Zerah act unfaithfully in the things under the ban, and wrath fall on all the congregation of Israel? And that man did not perish alone in his iniquity.' "
21 Then the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh answered and spoke to the heads of the families of Israel. 22 "The Mighty One, God, the LORD, the Mighty One, God, the LORD! He knows, and may Israel itself know. If {it was} in rebellion, or if in an unfaithful act against the LORD do not save us this day! 23 "If we have built us an altar to turn away from following the LORD, or if to offer a burnt offering or grain offering on it, or if to offer sacrifices of peace offerings on it, may the LORD Himself require it. 24 "But truly we have done this out of concern, for a reason, saying, 'In time to come your sons may say to our sons, "What have you to do with the LORD, the God of Israel? 25 "For the LORD has made the Jordan a border between us and you, {you} sons of Reuben and sons of Gad; you have no portion in the LORD." So your sons may make our sons stop fearing the LORD.' 26 "Therefore we said, 'Let us build an altar, not for burnt offering or for sacrifice; 27 rather it shall be a witness between us and you and between our generations after us, that we are to perform the service of the LORD before Him with our burnt offerings, and with our sacrifices and with our peace offerings, so that your sons will not say to our sons in time to come, "You have no portion in the LORD.'" 28 "Therefore we said, 'It shall also come about if they say {this} to us or to our generations in time to come, then we shall say, "See the copy of the altar of the LORD which our fathers made, not for burnt offering or for sacrifice; rather it is a witness between us and you.'" 29 "Far be it from us that we should rebel against the LORD and turn away from following the LORD this day, by building an altar for burnt offering, for grain offering or for sacrifice, besides the altar of the LORD our God which is before His tabernacle."
30 So when Phinehas the priest and the leaders of the congregation, even the heads of the families of Israel who {were} with him, heard the words which the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the sons of Manasseh spoke, it pleased them. 31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said to the sons of Reuben and to the sons of Gad and to the sons of Manasseh, "Today we know that the LORD is in our midst, because you have not committed this unfaithful act against the LORD; now you have delivered the sons of Israel from the hand of the LORD." 32 Then Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest and the leaders returned from the sons of Reuben and from the sons of Gad, from the land of Gilead to the land of Canaan, to the sons of Israel, and brought back word to them. 33 The word pleased the sons of Israel, and the sons of Israel blessed God; and they did not speak of going up against them in war to destroy the land in which the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad were living. 34 The sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad called the altar {Witness;} "For," {they said,} "it is a witness between us that the LORD is God."

Thought provoking reads

2006-09-02T18:13:00.000-05:00

I find that a strange thing happens to me when I go to the library: I always seem to leave with at least one book on the holocaust.
In fact, I just finished Schindler's List. As I finished the last page, I thought to myself that it was one of the most troubling books I've ever read in my life. The only book more troubling was Let Me Go, an account from a German woman about her mother who was in the SS and, now in her eighties, still showed absolutely no remorse about the inhumane things that she personally did to the prisoners.
I've also read several accounts from survivors of the camps.
They are all from different perspectives and very thought provoking.
I wonder how the desensitization process can go that far, to where you give barbaric treatment without even hesitating. I wonder how people can survive that kind of treatment. I am amazed at how much humans can really handle, the will to live. I was very surprised to find out that many of them did not even believe in God and I wonder how in the world anyone could go through those circumstances without Him.

One Year Later...

2006-08-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

One year ago at this time I was at my grandparent's house glued to the weather channel watching as Hurricane Katrina landed in my parish. Little did I know how this moment would change my life.

It hardly seems like a year ago that I lived in my hometown, the suburbs of New Orleans. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday; in others, an eternity.
I have moved several times since then, leaving behind my life and everything I knew in New Orleans.
In this year, I have been removed from close friends in New Orleans, not had a clue where I was going to live or what I was going to do, moved to Houston and made wonderful new friends, had to say goodbye to them as I moved again, again not knowing where I was going or what I was going to do, stayed with various family members and friends, settled on Natchez, established our music business, moved here, and made more new friends as we settle in here.
It's been quite a whirlwind!

As I look back over this very trying year, my one recurring thought on the subject has been the faithfulness of God. He has shown Himself mighty, loving, and gracious. He has shown Himself worthy of all praise and honor. He has one again proven that He is God and I am not. Just when I start to worry about my circumstances, He comes through again, just as He always has. It's amazing. How does God care about every miniscule detail of my life? What is man that Thou art mindful of him? I find myself wondering along with the psalmist.
Yes, in this year there have been many heartbreaks. Yes, there have been many disappointments and many dreams shattered. And yes, there have been many tears.
But through these fiery trials, God has done much teaching. And for all of the hardships, I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned from them for anything.

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

An All Time Favorite Psalm

2006-08-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
All that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems you life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

The LORD performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
HE acts to the sons of Israel.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not delt with us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear HIm.
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the LORD has compassion on His children.
For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

The LORD has established His throne in the heavens,
And His righteousness to children's children,
To those who keep His covenant
and remember His precepts to do them.

The LORD has established His throne in the heavens,
And His soverignty rules over all.
Bless the LORD, you His angels,
Mighty in strenght, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
Bless the LORD, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the LORD, O my soul!
Psalm 103

Back from Bootcamp and Watching Time Fly

2006-08-17T15:36:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the Entrepreneurial Bootcamp put on by Vision Forum. It was incredible! The sessions were long, and almost always ran over, but I found myself not wanting them to end. A few of the speakers were Arnold Pent, Scott Brown, Geoff Botkin and, of course, Doug Phillips. I learned a lot of practical stuff, like marketing etc. but I think the best part of the weekend was the encouragement. Doug Phillips' "Big Picture" talk was one that I will be listening to on CD and remembering for a long time. It was very neat to see people who have family businesses with biblical standards who have been successful not only by obtaining earthly wealth but also, and most importantly, "heavenly capital".
At the end of the last session, we went up and talked to several of the speakers to find out any advice they had for us in our very....how shall we say?...Particular circumstances. Some of them had some very good practical advice and encouragement, but Mr. Brown's answer was probably my favorite - "Wow, I have no idea...can I pray for you?" Honesty and prayers always welcome!

On the way up and back we had to opportunity to spend time with very dear friends whom we haven't seen in what seems like an eternity. This was a huge blessing for us!
I found out that one of my friends joined the Marines since I've seen him last...wow...it seems like just yesterday he was 13 and throwing dead animals at me. How time flies!

Yes, time really does fly. As I have been thinking lately about the brevity of life, I recall when I was younger and how time seemed to hold still. A minute, an hour, a week, all seemed to take an eternity. To think of something happening "next year" seemed like it might as well be in another millennium.
But now, I look back over my short life and I see just how much it has flown by. I can now identify with Psalm 39:4-5 where in his distress David cried "Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Surely every man walks about as a phantom; surely they make an uproar for nothing; he amasses riches and does not know who will gather them." Also Psalm 90:10 "As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years, yet their pride is but labor and sorrow; For soon it is gone and we fly away."
While I lived in Katy, I read a book by John Piper called Don't Waste Your Life. On the first few pages was a quote that I liked:
"Only one life,
'Twill soon be past;
Only what's done
for Christ will last."
It's very simple, and I didn't think much about it at the time. But as the months have rolled along, I think of that little quote more and more.
Only one life, 'twill soon be past. Do I really understand just how short life is? No, I don't think I do. If I did, I can't imagine that I'd ever waste a moment of it.
Only what's done for Christ will last. Do I believe that? My reaction answer would to answer "Of course!" But I think sometimes that if I had a real grasp of that concept - that everything is useless if it be not for Christ - my life would look quite different. The books I read would be different, the movies I watch, the things I think about during the day, the people I talk to and what I talk to them about, these would all be different (or would at least be in a different perspective) if I could really grasp the concept of the brevity of life.

With this I leave you. Admonition to all of Israel by Joshua shortly before his death.
"Be very firm, then, to keep and do all that is written in the book of the law of Moses, so that you may not turn aside from it to the right hand or to the left, so that you will not associate with these nations, these which remain among you, or mention the name of their gods, or make anyone swear by them, or serve them, or bow down to them. But you are to cling to the LORD your God, as you have done this day. For the LORD has driven out great and strong nations from before you; and as for you, no man has stood before you to this day. One of your men puts to flight a thousands for the LORD your God is He who fights for you, just as He promised you. So take diligent heed to yourselves to love the LORD your God...Now behold, today I am going the way of all the earth, and you know in all your hearts and in all your souls that not one word of all the good words which the LORD your God spoke concerning you has failed; all have been fufilled for you, not one of them has failed."
Joshua 23:6-11, 14

~Robin <><

Iron Sharpening Iron

2006-08-06T21:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a wonderful day! It started out with a visit our friends which we worshiped with in Mandeville before we moved. It seems like it had been forever since we had seen everyone! There is always great fellowship with these brothers and sisters, but today it was even more interesting because we discussed pado-baptism vs credo-baptism, the New Perspective on Paul and various other "hot topics" surrounding Christianity. It was so rich that we didn't want to leave, and put off our departure for as long as we could. It's funny when you think that you know where someone is coming from and what they believe then WHAM! They say something totally unexpected, especially when you find out that they're thinking the same thing you are. Ah, the sweetness of like-mindedness!

So just as I thought that I'd had my fill of debate and theological thinking for the day, we made a stop through Folsom to our other old fellowship. We had been there a little over an hour when I was standing in the kitchen, talking to my friend Leah about the weather or some such thing. We had been talking quite happily about nothing in particular for a few minutes when someone who I hadn't even seen in five years walked up and after a few minutes looked to me and said "So, are you a Calvinist?" My first response was a blank stare. After I realized that it was a serious question that was awaiting an answer (even though I knew that it was rhetorical) I thought Oh no, here it goes again! and fumbled some sort affirmative reply. So it began. Now, debating Calvinism is nothing new for my sister and me, but I'll have to admit that it had been a very long time since I'd talked about the subject with someone with an opposing view. In fact, as I thought back to the last time I debated it, I realized that it was the last time I was at this fellowship.
So there I was, with no Merisha and no Bible, trying to explain why I believed in total depravity, and trying to understand his point in the analogy of the nature of the coke can (never did figure that out, by the way).
After a while, it came time to leave and it was decided that we'd talk about children being born sinful vs being born a blank slate another day. As we proceeded towards the exit, we entered the dining room where we found Merisha discussing the same topics with another group of people.
Merisha always articulates her thoughts during theological debates much better than I do, and never seems intimidated or ruffled, which continues to amaze me. By the time it was finished, there were 9 or so people all giving their two cents, and it was great! We all stayed for a bit longer and (as usual) ended up agreeing to disagree.

As I tried to discover what it was about debating theology that I liked so much, I realized that there is something wonderful about constantly being challenged to go back to the Bible for your answers. In no conversation during the day was anyone convinced of the other person's views, (in fact, Merisha just walked in and declared "His explanation of Romans 9 is completely implausible! Would you like to hear why?") but they all made me think and challenged my views. It made me go back to the Bible and say "Okay, why do I believe this? Where is it in the Bible?" After all, if my view isn't firmly planted in the Word of God, it needs to be challenged and blown out of the water.

At the end of the day, it isn't about who's right and who's wrong, it's about drawing near to the throne of grace and humbly asking God for wisdom. We're all in the same boat, striving toward the same goal, trying to understand as much as we can with our finite minds.
So next time someone asks "Credo or Pado?", "What about the New Perspective?" or, of course, the ever-popular "How could anyone be a Calvinist?" I'll recall the last time these views were challenged, remember the Scriptures, breathe a prayer for wisdom, and - by God's grace, with confidence and meekness of spirit - will make a defense for the hope which is within me.

~Robin <><

The Miracle of Birth

2006-07-16T09:56:00.000-05:00

The baby was born yesterday morning, after a very difficult and emotionally and physically draining labor.
I was in the delivery room, and as it was my first time to witness a birth, it was quite a new experience for me. I wasn't sure exactly what to expect, but even I could tell that things were going wrong.
While holding the mother's hand, hearing her oxygen mask inflate and watching the computer screen like a hawk for any signs that the baby's heart rate was improving, I heard her ask me to pray. I was instantly reminded of the Psalmist's words "You knit me together in my mother's womb, I shall praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" and where he says that it was God who brought him forth from the womb. These words were an encouragement to us, especially since it was a risky delivery. We knew that God was the only one who could bring this child forth at all and definitely the only one who could protect her and keep her healthy. But all we could do was wait, watch and pray.
At at least one point I was completely dumbfounded that women actually go through this. But as I saw the baby enter the world and be placed in her mother's arms, as I held her close to me and kissed her forehead, I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting children.
When the nurse entered the room after they had been monitoring her vital signs, I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving as I heard her say "She's perfectly fine...the most beautiful baby in the nursery."
And yes, I cried.
The scene was amazing when, looking down at her, her father said, "Look at this...fearfully and wonderfully made."
I've always heard that birth is a miracle, but now I know it and believe it with all of my heart.

During the labor, everyone kept looking over to me and saying "How many children did you say you wanted? I bet you don't want any now!" But I'm happy to say, that through it all, it has only reinforced my desire to have many children.
God's power and providence were manifested and his glory magnified. His mercy is truly new every morning, as we discovered anew at 6:28 am yesterday.

In awe of His grace,
~Robin <><

Traveling the High Skies Once Again...

2006-07-13T20:43:00.000-05:00

I'm in St. Louis again, and as I was informed last night by my host that blogs were a waste of time, it reminded me that I needed to put up another post. :)
Merisha is taking Suzuki Piano Teacher Training this week, so I decided to come up and see my friends in St. Louis while she's in New Orleans for training.
The baby is due any day and they needed some help, soooo, here I am!

I have been thinking about this scripture in Isaiah lately:

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10

What an awesome encouragement!

~Robin <><

"Put on a heart of compassion..."

2006-07-03T23:57:00.000-05:00

In reading through the gospels a while back, I was struck anew by the compassion of Christ.
I proceeded to do a word search on compassion and was almost surprised by what I've found.
The New American Standard version yeilds 92 results to the search "compassion". Of course, not all of these refer to the compassion of God, but also to people begging compassion from God, people extending compassion to others, etc.

If you ask me, one thing that the conservative church has all but lost is compassion.
Many speakers will talk for hours about the unsaved and their impending judgement. I heard recently of a preacher who said "we always hear that we are to love the sinner and hate the sin, but God hates the sinner enough to throw him into hell!" Implying that we should only love those who are currently saved and living the life that we think they should live.
(Side note: Of course, I believe that God is not only loving and compassionate but also just and that there are eternal consequences for those who die without repenting. However, since judgement has not yet occurred, we know not who the saved are or will be. Therefore, we are given the comission to preach to every nation and share the gospel of Christ with everyone.)
All of life is a balance, and I've seen both extreemes, but there is definately an aspect of christianity that you loose when all you do is look at the sin and ignore the hurting, lost sinner.

I know one thing for sure, my life has been changed by a loving God who had compassion on me long before I ever appreciated it. That compassion was shown through his word, but also through people who had the strength to love me where I was and show me truth. They lead me through hard times, and let the Holy Spirit do the work of convicting my sin instead of judging it and pointing it out to me themselves.
The compassion of God has taken some pretty wrecked lives and made them holy, and there is not one person that is beyond the healing touch of God.
As someone who was saved as a child and has been spared may of the burdens that come from living a life apart from Christ, I can be tempted to be self-righteous. But a friend of mine has a very interesting approach to seeing people lost in their sin. Instead of automatically being welled up with pride because "I'm not as bad as that person" she would turn to her children and say "There, but for the grace of God."
Yes, that's so true. We are all there, in the place of the worst sinner, but for the grace of God. That life can be turned around with the compassion of God, often shown through His people.

Here are a few scriptures that jumped out at me as I was doing a word search on compassion, and though they're all wonderful, I especially liked the last one.

Nevertheless, in Your great compassion You did not make an end of them or forsake them, for You are a gracious and compassionate God.
Nehemiah 9:31

Shout for joy, O heavens! And rejoice, O mountains! For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on His afflicted.
Isaiah 49:13

"In an outburst of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, but with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you" says the Lord your Redeemer.
"For the mountains may be removed, and the hills may shake, but my lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and my covenant of peace will not be shaken," says the Lord who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:8, 10

"I will sow for her Myself in the land. I wil also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, and I wills ay to those who were not My people, 'You are my people!' and they will say, 'You are my God!' "
Hosea 2:23

But seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:36

When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed their sick.
Matthew 14:14

When the Lord saw her, He felt compassion for her, and said to her, "Do not weep." And He came up and touched the coffin; and the bearers came to a halt, And He said, "Young man, I say to you, arise!" The dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him back to his mother.
Luke 7:13-15

We count as blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.
James 5:11

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12

So there you have it, compassion for the lost souls needing Christ, and for the struggling christians alike is not only a nice thing to do, it's a command.

~Robin <><

A Great Scripture

2006-06-27T14:43:00.000-05:00

They're all great, of course, but this one has always been one that really stuck out to me:
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannont sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.
Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:14-16

In Loving Memory

2006-06-17T16:29:00.000-05:00

Merisha and I had the honor of playing our duet at the funeral of Kenneth Hoffman, known to us and those who knew him as "Pop".
Pop was one of the many men who served our country faithfully in World War II and continued until his death to be a wonderful example of what a godly man should be.
Though we were not related by blood (he was the grandfather of one of my dearest friends), Pop will continue to hold a special place in my heart.
I will go on remembering the things he taught me and the words he spoke to me for many years to come.

At his funeral, his son-in-law sang a family favorite of theirs (and now of ours) which was taken from the prayer of St Francis. I thought I would post the prayer here in his honor:

The Prayer of St. Francis

"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is dispair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive -
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life

Amen"

In Loving Memory of
Kenneth A. Hoffman, Sr.
April 18, 1929 - June 3, 2006

Home Sweet Home

2006-06-10T11:53:00.000-05:00

Ciao!
Well, we are back from a great time St Louis! What a busy trip!
Though the best part was being reunited with a couple of families from New Orleans, another highlight was the day that we got to do some sightseeing, which was very fun. We went to see the Missouri river and got to visit the famous St. Louis arch. It's huge!!

After spending 10 days in an Italian household, my Italian has improved a little. I can now speak even more important words such as please, thank you and chocolate. :)

Tonight Merisha and I are playing our first paying wedding ceremony. Preludes are no big deal, but playing the Bridal Chorus and the Wedding March are nerve racking because they are at such an important time in the ceremony. They are so well known and everyone is completely silent listening to you and watching the bride.
The rehearsal last night went very well and though I'm a little bit nervous, I am really looking forward to the wedding this evening.

Anyway, my computer is dead at home, so thank goodness for library computers!

Saluti!
~Robin<><

A Trip to St. Louis

2006-05-30T10:25:00.000-05:00

I love traveling, especially by plane. As I flew across Louisiana, Arkansas and entered Missouri, I was amazed (as I always am) by the view of both the landscape and the heavens from such an altitude.

Take off and landing are always thrilling, and soaring through the skies and looking down to pillows of clouds always puts me in awe.

As I watched a magnificent sunset from the air I found myself saying out loud "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world" from Psalm 19.

I tried for a moment to understand how anyone being surrounded by such glory could doubt the presence of a wonderful Creator. I considered the logic of thinking that all of this just evolved this way by chance.

No, I smiled, nothing but the word of God could have created such magnificence as the skies.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth" Genesis 1:1 boldly states.

Nothing but these pure words of scripture is even logical.

Soon, my view was hindered as we passed through the clouds for a while.

When I touched down, I made my way to the curbside where I was reunited with some very dear friends from New Orleans. They lost practically everything they owned in the flood, have two very small children and are due for their third baby in just a few weeks. Since he is an airline pilot, he can get us free passes to various places, so we decided to take 10 days and come help them move.

Since they know very few people here, they definitely needed some help with the moving and unpacking process.

Of course, it was a great blessing for us because we love their family very much and were glad to have a great reason to see them again.

So now, taking a break from the demands of the household to make a post, I am reminded just how gracious God is. Seeing how he takes lives that were broken and making them whole is magnificent to watch.

We shall return home next Tuesday, just in time for several gigs in June.

Blessings!

~Robin <><

MHEA Conference

2006-05-21T08:21:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was Mississippi's homeschool conference. Mr. Doug Phillips was supposed to speak, but was instead in the hospital with kidney stones. He sent Geoffrey Botkin in his place.
It was very good and we were able to make a few connections about finding a church somewhere within 100 miles! Today we'll be visiting a Reformed Baptist church in Port Gibson (about an hour north, but it's a beautiful drive up the Natchez Trace). So, we'll see! We got the names of a few other churches to try, so we'll be busy visiting churches for the next several Sundays.
Anyway, the conference wasn't very big (at least not compared to the Louisiana conference), but they had some very knowledgeable speakers who delivered some very convicting talks.
All in all, it was definitely worth the drive to Jackson.

Merisha and I are in the Sunday paper here in Natchez today, so we're excited about getting our name out and seeing what kind of response we get from it.
Many of our friends have told us "Oh, you've got to play at my wedding! Reserve a Saturday for me in about 5 years."
None of them have grooms, but hey, they've got musicians lined up :)

Anyway, I must get going...I would have posted sooner but my computer is quite fickle and likes to freeze up etc.

Blessings,
~Robin <><

Katy Run

2006-05-08T10:09:00.000-05:00

Well, we got our first load from the storage building in Katy this past weekend.
We received help from some very kind people from our church there and were able to get over half of the stuff loaded up in just a few hours.
It was quite a treat to be able to see some friends there in Katy that we haven't seen since our initial move.

The drive was long, but had it's comic relief moments (on Hwy 84, we passed a sign on the side of a building that had a picture of a women with long dark hair and read: "Virtuous Women Fitness and Tanning." For some reason that struck us as funny and got a bit of mileage out of it. Perhaps we were just tired!)
Anyway, it rained the entire way back from Katy (very hard for the first several hours) and since I come from a family who has bad weather phobia, it was a bit tense.
We all survived, though! We'll be making another trip in the next week or two to get the rest of our stuff.
I'm definitely looking forward to having the move behind us and getting settled in!

~Robin <><

Keeping up with the times!

2006-04-24T20:17:00.000-05:00

I AM: hid with Christ in God
I WANT: to see the world
I WILL: appear with Christ in glory
I WISH: I didn't have a headache
I HATE: stupid movies
I LOVE: playing music or singing with my sister in a room with wood floors
I MISS: lots of people
I FEAR: marrying someone who turns out to be a jerk
I HEAR: complete silence. A welcome relief after spending 5 hours listening to the Baptism Debate
I WONDER: why sincere, learned, God-fearing people come to different beliefs and convictions
I REGRET: not practicing my instruments more when I was younger
I AM NOT: hungry
I DANCE: any chance I get. In fact, I taught a historical dance today
I SING: all the time.
I CRY: on rare, heart-wrenching occasions
I AM NOT ALWAYS: patient
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: practically nothing. I'm not very handy
I WRITE: on my blog, but especially letters and e-mails.
I CONFUSE: Farmer James
I NEED: dark chocolate (my new favorite indulgence)
I SHOULD: get off the computer and get stuff packed to move
I START: tons of books
I FINISH: almost none of them
I TAG: Tiffany, Christa and Jessica (if they'd like to, of course)

And the moving date is...

2006-04-22T12:58:00.000-05:00

Well, the very cute little house that we are renting is just about ready. Yard cleaned, lawn mowed, interior painted, floors redone. We will sign the lease probably Monday and camp out there until the May 6th, when our moving crew (aka: us, my grandparents, a few trucks and trailers with help from friends on either end) will bring all of our lovely stuff from Katy and we will officially live in Natchez.

Since Hurricane Katrina, our home has been various places. I am strange in that "home" is not a particular town or house for me. When I think "home", I think of the whole South. I think of laughter and of tears, I think of friends coming to visit and a place where family is reunited. In a sense, I have always been at home. Even when I was away from my house and family last summer for 5 weeks, I felt at home where I was. I suppose as long as you are in the place God wants you, home can be anywhere.
A wise friend stated it best. During the time when we weren't sure where we were going to live, someone asked me "Robin, where do you live?" I opened my mouth to answer, but had no idea what to say. I looked over to this wise person and gasped "Did you hear that? She just asked me where I lived!" "Ahh," was the reply as they turned towards my questioner "she lives in the Lord's hands." Then turning back to me, said "There's no better place to be".

~Robin <><

He is Risen!

2006-04-16T06:36:00.000-05:00

Death itself has been defeated. His soul was not left in hell, neither did His flesh see corruption (Acts 2:31).

1 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6 He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 7 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'" 8 Then they remembered his words. Luke 24:1-8

While His body lay in the grave...

2006-04-15T20:58:00.000-05:00

Matthew 27:62 -66
The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate. 63 "Sir," they said, "we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, 'After three days I will rise again.' 64 So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first." 65 "Take a guard," Pilate answered. "Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how." 66 So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.

Good Friday

2006-04-14T18:16:00.000-05:00

This post is In honor of Good Friday, a special day to remember something that we should remember every day of our lives. The sacrifice made in our place, the event that tore the vail between God in man: The sacrifice of Christ.

John 19
1 So then Pilate took Jesus and scourged Him. 2 And the soldiers twisted a crown of thorns and put it on His head, and they put on Him a purple robe. 3 Then they said, "Hail, King of the Jews!" And they struck Him with their hands. 4 Pilate then went out again, and said to them, "Behold, I am bringing Him out to you, that you may know that I find no fault in Him." 5 Then Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. And Pilate said to them, "Behold the Man!" 6 Therefore, when the chief priests and officers saw Him, they cried out, saying, "Crucify Him, crucify Him!" Pilate said to them, "You take Him and crucify Him, for I find no fault in Him." 7 The Jews answered him, "We have a law, and according to our law He ought to die, because He made Himself the Son of God." 8 Therefore, when Pilate heard that saying, he was the more afraid, 9 and went again into the Praetorium, and said to Jesus, "Where are You from?" But Jesus gave him no answer. 10 Then Pilate said to Him, "Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?" 11 Jesus answered, "You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin." 12 From then on Pilate sought to release Him, but the Jews cried out, saying, "If you let this Man go, you are not Caesar's friend. Whoever makes himself a king speaks against Caesar." 13 When Pilate therefore heard that saying, he brought Jesus out and sat down in the judgment seat in a place that is called The Pavement, but in Hebrew, Gabbatha. 14 Now it was the Preparation Day of the Passover, and about the sixth hour. And he said to the Jews, "Behold your King!" 15 But they cried out, "Away with Him, away with Him! Crucify Him!" Pilate said to them, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests answered, "We have no king but Caesar!"
16 Then he delivered Him to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus and led Him away. 17 And He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha, 18 where they crucified Him, and two others with Him, one on either side, and Jesus in the center.
19 Now Pilate wrote a title and put it on the cross. And the writing was: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. 20 Then many of the Jews read this title, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Greek, and Latin. 21 Therefore the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, "Do not write, 'The King of the Jews,' but, 'He said, "I am the King of the Jews." ' " 22 Pilate answered, "What I have written, I have written." 23 Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took His garments and made four parts, to each soldier a part, and also the tunic. Now the tunic was without seam, woven from the top in one piece. 24 They said therefore among themselves, "Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be," that the Scripture might be fulfilled which says: "They divided My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots." Therefore the soldiers did these things. 25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, "Woman, behold your son!" 27 Then He said to the disciple, "Behold your mother!" And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. 28 After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, "I thirst!" 29 Now a vessel full of sour wine was sitting there; and they filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on hyssop, and put it to His mouth. 30 So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, "It is finished!" And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.
31 Therefore, because it was the Preparation Day, that the bodies should not remain on the cross on the Sabbath (for that Sabbath was a high day), the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away. 32 Then the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first and of the other who was crucified with Him. 33 But when they came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs. 34 But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out. 35 And he who has seen has testified, and his testimony is true; and he knows that he is telling the truth, so that you may believe. 36 For these things were done that the Scripture should be fulfilled, "Not one of His bones shall be broken." 37 And again another Scripture says, "They shall look on Him whom they pierced."
38 After this, Joseph of Arimathea, being a disciple of Jesus, but secretly, for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus; and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took the body of Jesus. 39 And Nicodemus, who at first came to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about a hundred pounds. 40 Then they took the body of Jesus, and bound it in strips of linen with the spices, as the custom of the Jews is to bury. 41 Now in the place where He was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. 42 So there they laid Jesus, because of the Jews' Preparation Day, for the tomb was nearby.

The Great Fall of Merisha

2006-04-10T14:18:00.000-05:00

I had just sat down at the computer when Merisha walked in. I told her that I was going to write a post and she replied "About what, your stupid sister?" I replied no. After all, there is nothing stupid about going running in huge, baggy, ankle length koulots that you've fallen and hurt yourself badly in at least once before...right?
She is hitting me. Oh well.

After a stressful evening last night, Merisha and I slept in a bit this morning. When we woke up, we decided to go for a walk (which we do every morning). We walked down my grandparents driveway and started down the big hill just to the left of their house. I usually ran this part of the way, so I suggested that we do it this time. After all, it's a lot easier to run down a hill than to try to walk it. "You wanna run this part?" I asked. Her taking off was the only reply I needed. I was just slightly ahead when I heard something screeching behind me. I looked to see Merisha rolling like a barrel down the hill and off to the ditch in the side of the road. I screamed and instantly felt responsible for the accident. "Why did I have to suggest running? Now Merisha's hurt and we can't finish our walk!" Then I took a close look at her. Her arm was really torn up and one of her fingers was already huge with swelling. "I think it's broken" she said. Wonderful! A harpist with no left index finger! How can we gig now?

It turns out that it doesn't look broken, and she can move it fine (except for the swelling). Now it is now purple though, which is a tad disturbing, but she thinks that she can still play (just not with that finger).
So now we just have to make long sleeves for her ball gown and it everything should still work out fine. Thankfully, her face wasn't at all injured and the scrapes should be on the road to healing before our next gig.

Never a dull moment!

~Robin <><

Our First Natchez Gig

2006-04-08T13:56:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday we got a call from our friend at the Convention Center asking if we could play a gig that night since we'd already be in Natchez for an interview and CD recording. It was rather last minute, but we told her that we'd do it and it became our first Natchez gig. It was for some sort of RV rally or something...I'm still not quite sure what it was. A lot of older people with tons of money and motor homes all met near Natchez for a get together of some kind and they wanted some entertainment that represented the historic culture of the city. Of course, this means that we were in our Southern Belle ball gowns which is always a hit. It was fun, and all of the people were very kind.

Anyway, we're going to help some friends move today, so I must be running along...

~Robin <><

Blogging on the Road: Update 3

2006-04-04T20:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is definitely time for a new update!

After searching the world over (or so it seemed sometimes) for the perfect place, we have finally found it.
That's right, a decision has been made.
For those of you who have never heard of Natchez, Mississippi, you are really missing out. A quaint town with dozens of Plantations and Antebellum homes, and with some of the kindest, most sincere people I've ever met, it will soon be the place that we call "home".

Now, I must say that at first I had not even the slightest interest in Natchez for only one reason: It is in Mississippi. I don't know about you, but when I think of Mississippi, I think of hicks traipsing through a hole in the wall grocery store with no shoes on (and yes, I saw one of those in another Mississippi town today). The stigma that Mississippi holds for me is deeply engraved in my brain. But after one afternoon in Natchez, I felt like I was stepping back in time to the old south. We will be renting a small (but not too small!) house which was built in the late 1800s and will be playing our harp and flute duet at various events in the historic town.
It has been exciting to see how God has provided us with opportunities to use the musical talents that He has given us and that we have invested so much time, energy and money into.Since Natchez has become a destination wedding spot (if you see these exquisite houses, you'll understand why), and there is not a harpist in town, the owners of these wedding spots are confident that we will be able to secure as many gigs as we can take.
This will provide us with an opportunity to work together (Merisha and I on instruments and Mom managing us), which is our hearts desire. Since the pay is very good, this will also provide us with an opportunity to be at home much more than we first anticipated. Doing just four regular gigs a week (1-2 hours each) will provide well for us, and that's not counting the weddings and other extra events (which we already have found a demand for....we have 14 gigs booked already!!). So we can work outside of the home for 4-16 hours per week (plus optional weekend gigs) and have the rest of that time to work on our homemaking skills!As you can see, I am very excited to see how God has provided for us and taken care of us! We thought that we'd have to work outside of the home for 20-40 hours a week, but He has graciously given us another way.

You want to know something else funny? We unknowingly made a very good connection at the Convention Center. She has booked us to be on two local TV programs, in the newspaper and has scheduled professional photo shoots for us on the grounds of these historic homes and halls. It turns out that the city wants to use us in their publicity. This will be good for us (free publicity for our duet) and good for them (they will be able to use the same photos for their advertisements). It's all so exciting!

So anyway, I must go practice my flute for a bit before bed!
~Robin <><

Blogging on the Road: Update 2

2006-03-23T13:38:00.000-06:00

A quick update to let people know what's the latest scoop.
Several weeks later than first anticipated, we are now in Mississippi with my grandparents.
My grandfather's birthday was made wonderful by the addition of all of his children and all but three of his grandchildren. It was quite a surprise for him!
Unfortunately, the day after his birthday, while all of the family were still in, I came down sick with some sort of sinus infection. Not fun. The sore throat and congestion were livable, but when I woke up one morning with my eyes red and glazed, I knew something had to give. After several days of walking around looking as if I've been crying my eyes out, I was no better. So yesterday we went south to see my loved and trusted doctor from New Orleans. As expected, I was given anti-biotics and a couple of other things to clear everything up. By last night, I was feeling much better.
When we got back to Mississippi, I was on the sofa relishing how I could lay down and still actually breathe when I felt something pop in my eye. "Does this never end?" Sure enough, a blood vessel had popped in my right eye. Wonderful, just wonderful. No my eye has a huge (well, it seems huge to me), rather frightening and quite unattractive blood spot on it. I'm assured that it will eventually clear up on it's own but I (being ever so patient) am having a hard time finding this as comfort.
So here I am, perfectly useless (anti-biotics always knock the life out of me) with not much to do but think of my woes and ponder the sins of vanity and pride.

We had an insightful meeting with Angie Matherne from Destrehan Plantation yesterday and she had many wonderful ideas for us. I'll keep you posted as things start happening.

~Robin <><

Blogging on the Road: Update 1

2006-03-11T10:16:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone! After a three day visit to our Aunt and Uncle in San Antonio (who we've been intending to go see since we moved to Texas), we came to Tyler. We got in yesterday and will continue to do some looking around for the next few days. We already have some leads that we're looking into, which is encouraging.
Next week we'll treck off to Mississippi for my grandfather's 70th birthday celebration. Our family will again be reunited, which is always a blessing. How fun to see all of my cousins and aunts and uncles again!

~Robin <><

Hitting the Trails

2006-03-06T15:55:00.000-06:00

We have a very busy couple of weeks ahead of us!
If you don't hear from me for a while, you'll know that it's because I'm scampering about the country visiting family and friends and checking out what opportunities we might have in different places.
As I have the access and free time, I'll update everyone on where we are and what we're doing.

Ciao!
~Robin <><

The Elephant in the Room

2006-03-03T17:23:00.000-06:00

It looks as if everyone else has a new post up, so I guess it's about that time!
The reason that I haven't posted is the fact that I haven't had a whole lot to say.
I sit down in front of the computer screen and say "What shall I post about today?" I sit for a moment thinking that I'll have a revolutionary idea to post about any minute. Nothing comes to mind. I type out a few words, move them around a bit and end up deleting them all. "Why this lack of blogging inspiration?" I wonder aloud. In the end, I close the window, and repeat the saga the next day, sure that this time something bloggable will soon pop into my head.

At one point I realized that the reason that I didn't have anything to say is because of the elephant in the room. Ah, yes...that! We've all had those experiences, right? Something happens that everyone knows about, but no one talks about because it's awkward.
It's like a huge elephant standing right in the middle of the living room that everyone avoids mentioning. "What's that elephant doing in the middle of the room?" people wonder. No one else says anything, so everyone just sits there acting like everything is perfectly normal. Funny how that happens. I think having elephants in the room, while slightly unnerving, has its humorous aspects.

Most of you know by now what the elephant in the middle of my life is. Just in case you've missed out, I shall make a statement of the obvious.
As alluded to in my last post, we have moved and are no longer working or living in Katy, TX.
Everyone has the same question: "Why?" Their concern is evident, and the question is a perfectly logical one.
However, I shall save all of you dear people the trouble by stating up front that for the sake of all of us involved, the particulars of the events surrounding our move are better left unsaid. In short, things have not worked out as we had hoped.
But just because I'm not telling you, don't imagine the worst! Be assured that I have many wonderful memories of this season and will think back on it with joy. I will remember it with joy because of what I've learned and experianced, but most of all because of the people I've grown to love.
Yes, of course, there have been trying times but I daresay the tears of sadness and anger because of them has ceased. I have been given gladness for mourning and peace for dispair.

The second most asked question is "What's next? Where do you go from here?" Hmm, another perfectly logical question. Every time I hear it I cringe before giving the true answer: "I don't know."
Your prayers are welcome during this time of transition. Just as I believe that it was the by the direction of God that we moved to Katy in the first place, I am confident that He will guide us again in our next step.

~Robin <><

Tiffany's 20th Birthday

2006-02-17T09:00:00.000-06:00

Today I will make a belated post in honor of the twentieth birthday of my very dear friend, Tiffany.

Always up to the most difficult challenges with a smile, she is diligent, kind, loving and long-suffering. Her quest for christlikeness is apparent in how she treats others, and her strength of character shown every day.
Through these last 125 or so days, not one has ended with strife between the two of us. Quick to offer a hug during hard times, and always quick to forgive when I've failed, I am honored to call her my friend.
From the "unforgettable cranberry molds" to frolicking down Fry, it's been real!

Happy Birthday, Tiffany. It has been an honor to live, work and worship alongside you for past four months. You are, and will continue to be an inspiration to me.

I love you, my dear Tiffany. Our season of constant acquaintance may be over, but our friendship will never be.

God bless in this coming year!

~Robin <><

Eighteen Things I've Learned

2006-02-05T05:30:00.000-06:00

For my 18th birthday, I decided that I would post 18 things that I've learned through the years. Unfortunately, I don't really have computer access on the weekends, so today (my first day back at work since my birthday) will have to be close enough to February 5th.
Of course, this list is not exhaustive nor is in any particular order :)

1 Mom really is always right
2 Attitude is everything
3 Love is a choice
4 Hard times will either make you or break you
5 If you want to make a difference in the world, don't try to be like everyone else
6 You can't change other people
7 Living your life for Christ is the most effective tract
8 Patience is a virtue. If you are patient with angry people, they change their tone like a light
9 Nothing good in life comes without risk
10 Life is fleeting
11 Sometimes you just have to say no
12 Friendships take a lot of work
13 Trust is essential in any relationship. The closer the relationship, the more trust is required
14 Memorizing a book of the Bible isn't as hard as it sounds (yes, I finally finished it!)
15 Contentment is key in every circumstance
16 Everyone sees and loathes everyone else's inconsistencies and hypocrisies, but usually fail to see their own
17 Debating and challenging ideas is helpful to define one's own beliefs
18 Living 14 people under one roof is fun

~Robin <><

I've been tagged....again.

2006-02-01T17:10:00.000-06:00

7 Things I Would Like to do Before I Die:
1. Go sky diving (I wanted Melissa and I to go for our 18th birthday, but she wouldn't hear of it)
2. Get married
3. Travel the world
4. Learn Italian
5. Become more proficient on all of my instruments
7. Memorize more books of the bible

7 Things I cannot do very well:
1. Find 7 things I can't do well (haha, just kidding)
2. Sight read music
3. Give people the benefit of the doubt
4. Sew. I sew, people laugh
5. Appreciate fiction books. I can't stand fiction, save the 4 I listed below
6. Play any sort of sport. Basketball, baseball, volleyball, - you name it, I can't play it
7. Play violin. A horrific sound, by all accounts

7 Top favorite movies:
I don't like movies. I've seen tons, but none of them really did much for me. I mean, there might be some that were okay or even good, but every time I write them down I think "you know, that really isn't worth mentioning". So, I've decided to change mine to "7 least favorite movies" (though this is FAR from exhaustive):
1. Gladiator
2. The Quiet Man
3. The Great Escape (though I liked the story, the soundtrack atrocious. It sounded like circus music the WHOLE time.)
4. Star Wars movies
5. My Fair Lady (or any other musical for that matter)
6. Peter Pan (especially the new one)
7. Finding Neverland

7 Things that I say often:
1. Hi! My name's Robin and I'll be serving you today. Can I get you started with something to drink?
2. You shall not surely die
3. What a trip
4. There you go
5. What's THAT supposed to mean?
6. On and on and on... (but they all make fun of the way I say "on". I say it more like a combination of "on" and "juan"- owwn. Whatever. Everyone here says "ahn".
7. Hey, Chickie (my pet name for my sister)

7 things that I would like in a husband:
1. Fears God
2. A strong leader: more stubborn than I am :)
3. Has a defined vision and purpose
4. Interacts well with people
5. Not given to tantrums (yeah, screaming people really freak me out)
6. Confident without being full of himself
7. Someone who loves children

7 of my favorite books/authors:
1. The Bible
2. R. C. Sproul Sr.'s work
3. Homemaking
4. Pride and Prejudice
5. The Giver
6. The Bronze Bow
7. Madman

7 people that I tag to write their 7x7's:
1. Farmer James (payback time)
2. Leah
3. The Swamp Celt
4. Shelby welby woo
5. Jeppy
6. Emmy
7. Christa (you haven't been tagged yet, have you?)

Happy Birthday!

2006-01-29T17:02:00.000-06:00

Today is Melissa McDonald's 18th birthday. Though we haven't had a whole lot of time to get to know each other since she is usually at home while I'm usually at the store, I have made certain observations of her.
She was the first McDonald I met on our very first visit to Katy. One of the first things I noticed about her was that she is often very quiet. I'm not, as you all well know, so to see a quiet person always intrigues me. I suppose that is because finding someone who knows when to keep their mouth shut is such a rare find. Once I got to know her a little better, I learned that though she is still one of the quietest in the family, she has quite a sense of humor about her.

Another thing that is immediately apparent is that she is amazing in caring for the children. Firm, yet kind. Loving them enough to not give into their every whim. Fair and balanced in her judgments and consistent even when it hurts. Sometimes I think that she's just about to give in to the insistence of one of her little charges, but no. I haven't seen her back down yet.

So many happy returns of the day, my dear. I feel so young now that you have abandoned me and left be as a young 17 yr old. Don't get too used to being older, though. My birthday is only a week away. We shall be the same age again soon :)

~Your Twin (well, PRACTICALLY...)

From Grief to Glory

2006-01-13T08:39:00.000-06:00

What do you say to a mother about to bury her 5 day old son? What kind of consolation can you offer in the midst of such grief?

Yesterday we received a call from our dear friend Leah, informing us of the death of the son of a precious family we know from the New Orleans area.
Five days on this earth. Born to one of the most godly families that I know.

The only recurring coherent thought I have on the subject is Job's response when he was told of the sudden death of every one of his children:
20 Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 He said, " Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD." 22 Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God. Job 1:20-22

In His Sovereignty, the Lord gave this child. And also in His Sovereignty, the Lord has taken him away.

Please be in prayer for the parents and surviving children at this time.

~Robin

December 31, 2005: Looking back - and forward

2005-12-27T17:11:00.000-06:00

A new year shall soon begin!

At the end of each year, Merisha and I have a tradition of looking back over the past year, seeing that it was rather uneventful and saying to each other "Well, I wonder what this year will hold?" The coming year remains much the same as the last and we repeat the saga again and again.
This year, though, has been eventful. From January to December, there have been many changes. I shan't bore you with them all...most of you are already familiar with my year and are by now bored of hearing it all :)

I have had new challenges and struggles that come with new circumstances but it is with gratefulness I say that through my weakness, I can see God's manifold and great mercy at work. His strength is made perfect in my weakness and I take heart in the promise that He who began a good work in me will carry that work on to completion until the day of Christ.

The love and grace of God never cease to amaze me. Though as I look back over the year and see the many times that I have failed Him, I am able to breathe a prayer of thanksgiving because I know that He continues to forgive and sanctify me.
Psalm 103 has always amazed me. When I reach verses 8-13, I always stop and marvel at it, trying to grasp the full implications. I can't fathom this kind of unconditional love:

"8 The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. 9 He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. 10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. 11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; 12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him."

Looking back, I remember many good times. Some of the highlights have been the visits with family, sweet fellowship with old friends, moving to Katy, joining our new church and making new friends here.

At the beginning of the year I began memorizing 1 Peter and there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I've just finished the first couple of verses of chapter four. It has been a wonderful experience, and I have been challenged and convicted by studying this incredible book.
In light of the fact that we are spending so much time interacting with people as waitresses at the tea room, Mom and I have adopted 1 Peter 4:11 as our goal: Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Happy New Year!

~Robin <><

Christmas Eve

2005-12-24T09:38:00.000-06:00

Today is Christmas eve, though we are celebrating it as Christmas day. As I sit here typing, I hear Tiffany practicing carols for church tomorrow, smell bacon frying and sticky buns baking, and see a huge amount of gifts piled not only under the tree, but also on the counter, behind the sofa and on the piano. With fifteen of us, you can imagine that there are a lot of gifts to exchange on this day.

Unlike most households, the children do not wake up and run down the stairs to tear open gift after gift. It is 10 o'clock and the gifts remain relatively untouched.
There is a simple reason for this. Though they are a welcome addition to the day, Christmas isn't about the gifts.
First we have a huge Christmas breakfast, which every female in the house has been contributing to while singing carol after carol.
After this, we will all sit around and listen to Mr. McDonald read Luke's account of the birth of the Savior.
Finally, we will each open our gifts.
Since Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, we are also having Christmas with the with the extended family today. This evening we will be going to Mrs. McDonald's parents' house and celebrating with them.

THEN tomorrow, of course, we will go to church. After church, instead of having our fellowship meal at the church building as we usually do, the whole church is going to the home of one family to have Christmas dinner.

So, in short, we have a very busy couple of days ahead of us. On top of all of this, I am trying to overcome sickness. Usually the only way for me to get better is to spend 2 days or so doing absolutely nothing. Doesn't sound like an option this time! Oh well, I'll just play it as safe as I can.

I shall let you go now...I anticipate having lots of pictures to share in a few days.
Everyone have a wonderful Christmas!

~Robin <><

Thanksmas 2005

2005-12-17T15:46:00.000-06:00

Our Thanksmas (Thanksgiving/Christmas combination) celebration this year was held at my Grandparents house in McComb, MS. Here are a few highlights.

Our Thanksmas tree. One of the best parts of Thanksmas...FUDGE!! Emmy enjoying a bit.

Us Girlies...Emily, Merisha, Robin and Jane. These are all of the girls in our generation except one.

Grandpa and Me

A grandkid's tradition in our family: 5,000 games of clue!

Random Pictures 2

2005-12-16T20:18:00.000-06:00

Posting pictures is much less time consuming than posting real posts. Since I am short on both time and inspiration, this works for now.
Hopefully soon I'll be able to go back to writing real posts again.

Until then:

Merisha and her new harp. Yeah, I know this picture needs to be rotated, but you know!
Oh well...

Grace and Larry :)
William is loving Christmastime! This will be his first Christmas!

Mom with Emma and Grace on Merisha's birthday

Random Pictures

2005-12-09T20:48:00.000-06:00

More pictures!!

The sunset on the way home from Thanksgiving. Ahh! I love sunsets almost as much as I love sunrises!

Me in my new winter garb.Abby and Me modeling our new hats.

Second Peter, the adorable of son of Peter Allison, one of the elders in our church.
Sometimes after church, the young people will gather for a Psalm singing. At the time of this picture, Mr. Allison was joining us (far right)

Mom's Birthday Pictures

2005-12-09T20:01:00.000-06:00

The long awaited pictures! It has taken me forever, I know...but hey...better late than never!

Getting ready to cut the cake...

Emma (3) awaiting her piece.

A very rare occurance: Mom saying "Too much chocolate!"

Too much excitement for at least one member of the family.

The Completion of Merisha's Ninteenth Year

2005-12-01T23:56:00.000-06:00

Today is the ninteenth birthday of my sister, Merisha.
To celebrate, she has started her own blog! The address is everinjoyfulsong.blogspot.com.
Isn't that lovely? She just posted her first post.
I will let you read her blog to inform you as to the special gift she received from my mother and me this birthday.

Anyway, today has been an interesting one. It ended with a bang when Merisha's birthday cake totally flopped. It looked awful and tasted even worse.
In retrospect, it was actually quite funny. Most of us were in the living room when Jessica came in offering cake. I was curious to see the different reactions of the family, so I observed from my comfy spot on the sofa. Everyone tried to be gracious, but James' reaction was quite humerous.
He took one bite, tried to keep a straight face then stood up and carried his plate into the kitchen. Now, I don't claim to be the brightest person on the planet, but I'm not that stupid. He ate another bite or two then dumped it in the trash.
Christa's reaction wasn't much different. Jessica came up with some strange description of it, which I have blocked out. The little kids licked the frosting off, but left the cake.

After all of this, what else was there to do but dump the thing in the trash? Nothing! So that is exactly what I did.
Several minutes later, Merisha goes in to get a piece of cake. Uh-oh. I had forgotten to give someone a piece. "Um, oops...you didn't get any yet?". "No, I was too full after dinner" came the reply. "Oh. Well, um, I sorta ditched it. It was gross, didn't you see it? Look, I'll make you another one tomorrow, okay?"
Merisha didn't care (and believe me, if she had tasted the thing she would have been on her knees thanking me), and was satisfied by my promise to try again tomorrow.
Everyone else gave me a horrible time about throwing it away, though. Ah well, such is life!

So at the end of this fiasco of a day, I had two choices: Cry or Laugh. I chose the latter.
The way I see it, Merisha is the best sister I could ever ask for. She is always ready to serve and sacrifice, strong in her convictions, kind, loving, and continuously striving towards Christ-likeness. With that kind of sister, how could any day be a flop?
So Merisha, I hope you enjoyed your birthday, despite your sister.
I pray God's blessing for you today and always. I wonder what this next year will hold? ;)
Ti volio bene!

~Robin <><

A Wonderful Day of Thanks!

2005-11-24T21:42:00.000-06:00

Since it is Thanksgiving, I decided to post the 5 things that I am most thankful for and some Psalms on giving thanks.

Of course, the first on my list must be the unfathomable grace that God has extended to me. I am eternally grateful to Him for calling me out of darkness and redeeming my soul. If this were the only thing that He ever blessed me with, I would be complete and have no justification to ask for anything more. In His sovereignty, though, He has bestowed me with other wonderful gifts.

Second to my salvation, my family is the greatest blessing in my life.
My mother and sister are two of the most godly women that I know, and I am blessed every day to live in unity with them. Through the hardest of life's trials we have been brought closer, and through the fire we have together been refined.
My extended family are also very dear to me. There is a very special bond in our extended family that I have observed is absent in many others that I know. Though we vary widely on beliefs, lifestyles and ideas, there is something that holds us all together. Of course, that thing that holds us together is our shared love for Christ. Praise to God that we are unified in our faith in Him!
Commenting on my family would not be complete without mentioning my spiritual family: The church universal, as well as the new congregation that we are fellowshipping with.
From Berean, to the Home Chruch With No Name :), to Family Reformation Fellowship, I am always astounded by the love and grace of God shining through in the lives of His children.

My "new family" would have to come in next. Though they fall into the Spiritual Family category of the last paragraph, I think they deserve a number all of their own.
The McDonald family took us in when we were strangers, and with joy met all of our needs. Though times have not been perfect, and we have all seen each other at something approaching our worst's, their love has been unwavering and their commitment to our family solid.
From the sweet fellowship with the girls, to hearing Mr. McDonald say "Rejoice! The body of Christ!" as he offered me the sacrament of communion on Sunday, my soul blessed by this dear family.
May we continue steadfastly in our love for one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is begotten of God, and knoweth God. (1 John 4:7)

Another thing for which I am grateful is that God saw fit for me to be born an American! I was thinking the other day about what it must be like to be born royalty. I can't imagine that being normal. Then I got to thinking....from what I understand, most foreign people can't imagine being born an American. They can't imagine what it is like to live in a place where there is freedom of speech, press and state imposed religion. It is definitely a blessing to live in this nation. It has it's faults, granted...many of them grave. But I can't think of a place I'd rather be on earth.
Though I hope to see more of the world, I think America will always be where my earthly allegiance rests!

Lastly (for this list, anyway) are the physical blessings that God has given me. Through my life, God has always provided food, clothing and shelter in abundance (i.e. more than one outfit of clothing, mere crusts of bread and a shack).
With thanks, I echo David in Psalm 37:25: "I have been young, and now am old; Yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread."
Though we have had seasons of both affluence and poverty, God has always been our provider and has not abandoned us in time of need.

So, there you have my top five. It's actually more than five, now that I think about it because of all of the sub-categories. Oh well! There is no way I could narrow it down any more than what I already have.

Now for the scriptures:

Ps 7:17 - I will give thanks to the LORD according to His righteousness And will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.
Ps 9:1 - I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders.
Ps 18:49 - Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O LORD, And I will sing praises to Your name.
Ps 30:4 - Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones, And give thanks to His holy name.
Ps 33:2 - Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre; Sing praises to Him with a harp of ten strings.
Ps 57:9 - I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to You among the nations.
Ps 92:1 - It is good to give thanks to the LORD And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
Ps 97:12 - Be glad in the LORD, you righteous ones, And give thanks to His holy name.
Ps 105:1 - Oh give thanks to the LORD, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples.
Ps 106:1 - Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Ps 106:47 - Save us, O LORD our God, And gather us from among the nations, To give thanks to Your holy name And glory in Your praise.
Ps 107:1 -Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Ps 107:8 -Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness, And for His wonders to the sons of men!

Amen and Amen!

Yes, this has turned out to be a very long post...but what else could I do? Watch Moulin Rouge with the other cousins? I don't think so...

~Robin <><

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-23T23:33:00.000-06:00

Well, it's really not Thanksgiving yet, but it will be in 30 minutes. Close enough!

Tonight I arrived in Mississippi after a ten hour trip, which was supposed to be six hours. The traffic was awful.
Anyway, it has been wonderful getting re-acquainted with my darling cousins and eating fudge. I've taken lots of pictures and I'm not slowing down (much to Emily's dismay)! I know I keep promising to post pictures...BUT...I bought CD's yesterday to load the pictures onto, so I'm one step closer! Hopefully I'll get someone to show me how to post these pictures up so you can all see my wonderful family.

Tomorrow is "Thanks-mass"and we are are very excited! Thanksgiving dinner, plus Christmas gifts. How lovely!

Well, I must go now...I'm abandoning Chelsea and Emily. An awful thing to do, considering we see each other only once a year! Oh well, they're having quite the time talking about movie clips.
Hello to my Texas family...I miss you guys!

~Robin <><

Come Cool Weather, Come!

2005-11-16T18:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday afternoon a lovely cool front came through. It was very exciting. We all took a break from dishes and went out to feel the wind as it blew in.

I was so excited, in fact, that after we got back from the mall I put on my new black velvet skirt, my new warm fuzzy hat and my new soft scarf and sat on the back porch (Mrs. McDonald said that it was too late to go on a walk). There's something charming about being all bundled up in new stuff...especially when it was all 50% off :)...and feeling the chill in the air.
I sat alone for a few minutes until Jessica came and joined me. We spent some time visiting before we were beckoned inside.

Ahh! The feeling of cold is exhilarating! I feel so sorry for James...he is sick of the cold already and it isn't even December yet. Then again, I fear no death of my precious trees by the cold.

~Robin
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